It was a rough week in our house. One of our kids (who shall remain nameless) has been an absolute challenge lately. Pushing limits and testing us. Things finally came to a head at the dinner table a few nights ago. It became an epic showdown. (If you listened really hard, you could almost hear the theme song from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly floating in the air.) It has taken me four days to even believe that my husband and I might have won this one... although we're still not positive.
Over the past week I have learned some important lessons in parenting. Some are pretty... most are not.
1.) I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. I am totally making this up as I go along. (Shhh...don't tell my kids)
2.) When I get angry I yell too much. It only escalates situations that are already precarious.
3.) My kids are more sensitive then I realize. I need to be a better listener... to really hear them.
4.) Sometimes it's impossible to give all three of my kids the attention they need exactly when and how they need it. I'm feeling spread pretty thin these days.
5.) Apparently, I was also a strong-willed challenging child? (Um, at least that's how my parents seem to remember things.) The word "karma" has come up several times this week.
6.) I wasn't prepared for my kids to do things that would disappoint me to the core. It feels impossible not to take it personally... and not to feel like a failure.
7.) I have a wonderful ally in my husband. We banded together over this past week and tackled things together. I would have gone crazy without his reassurance that I am a good mom.
8.) If there is any silver lining... I am learning from this. I am going to use it to become a better mom.
9.) I knew parenting was going to be hard... but this hard? And why does it seem like it's only getting harder? And at what point do you feel like you have it down?
10.) I am NOT qualified for this job. The responsibility of shaping little lives can be overwhelming.
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself. After all, I have resisted the strong urge to run away and never come back. And I haven't made it on to this list...(yet): The 20 Worst Moms
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