Adventures in Haircuts

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Let's get back to normal around here. I have some feelings about a haircut experience yesterday.

 The girl who cuts my hair generously takes care of my guys too.  It's a lovely arrangement because she does a great job, and the salon she works at is right next to the Children's Museum so I usually make their appointment and then we go play afterward.

 True to their personalities, My Big Guy will sit nicely in the chair, watch the traffic go by out the window and patiently let her cut his hair.  No complaints, no fussing.  That's how he is.  It sounds stupid to say it, but he's a very mature 3.5.

 My Little Guy is crazy when he's well behaved.  He does not sit still.  He does not like people touching his head.  New places/people sort of freak him out.  Some of that is his personality, but a lot of it is just being 2.

 My stylist recently gave birth to a baby girl (so adorable!), so she's been out on maternity leave.  While I can go weeks/months between haircuts, my guys cannot.

 They've started to look ridiculous.  Unkempt.  Bordering on white trash.

 A recommendation for a local, supposedly upscale children's salon arrived in my inbox a couple days ago thanks to a local mom's list.  Perfect.  The people of this particular suburb have a reputation of being snooty, bitchy, and demanding.  That's exactly what I want in a salon.  I didn't want my kids to end up with horrible haircuts and I didn't want it to be a bad experience since it'd be with someone they don't know.  I figured if it was good enough for these discerning citizens it'd be good enough for us.  I didn't think they would tolerate bad haircuts OR bad service.

 After naps yesterday we loaded up and headed over to this establishment.  I had been attempting to call and make an appointment, or at least inquire about how long the walk-in wait was for like 20 minutes but no one was answering.  We were approaching dinner time so I figured we'd just drive over there and it f it was a long wait we'd either leave or sit and watch the Metra trains at their train station (endlessly entertaining).  It's the town next to ours, so it's not like it involved a good deal of travel time here.

 I parked, we watched a train go by, we walked over to the salon.

 The women who worked there were just standing around at the desk, which I found odd since I had just spent like 20 minutes calling and getting no answer.  I figured maybe they just finished with a really busy streak and let it go.  I introduced my guys, explaining that My Little Guy is a bit high strung and doesn't have the best success rate when it comes to letting someone cut his hair (for realz people, I usually end up doing it myself in the bathtub with kitchen and/or nail scissors) but I had some confidence that these women, who were supposedly experts at cutting kids' hair would be able to handle him.

 I was wrong.

 My Big Guy's haircut went off without incident, other than I wasn't quite pleased with the way the woman cutting his hair was holding his head still.  It seemed a bit rough to me, but I had bigger fish to fry here.

 I put My Little Guy in the firetruck chair and he refuses the cape.  No big deal, we can change his clothes when we get home, it's only hair.  The woman sprays his hair with a squirt bottle (without warning) and he gets a bit freaked out (well yeah, someone just sprayed him with water).  He is also very much in his "stranger danger" phase (normal for a two year old) and was a bit nervous in this new place with all these new people.  As he starts looking around and turning towards the person who is touching his head and grabbing his hair this bitch says to him, "You need to be a nice boy and sit still, you're not being a nice boy!"

 What. The. Fuck.

 Oh hellz no bitch.

 I ended that shit so fast after that comment.  I told them woman, "We're done here, stop," and pulled My Little Guy out of the chair.  She asked if I was sure I wanted to give up, I glared at her and said yes and focused on comforting My Little Guy and telling him that he IS a nice boy.

 When I looked up, this bitch was gone.  It was like she ascended from hell and once her dirty work of insulting children was done she returned to the pit of despair from where she rose.  I couldn't find her anywhere.

 I let My Big Guy's haircut continue only because the woman who was doing his was right in the middle of it and if I had ended his then he would have looked like a fool with half his hair short and half long.

 I paid for My Big Guy's haircut and we got the hell out of that place.

 Once we got home I shot off a nasty email informing whoever is in charge of this salon about what happened and how inappropriate it is to tell a two year that he is not a nice boy because he's acting like a two year old.

 I also attempted to inform my mom's list of our experience, but was informed by the moderator that negative business reviews are forbidden.


 Apparently, in this particular group we can only post positive reviews of places.  So even though I went to this salon based on the recommendation of this group, I cannot inform them that our particular experience wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. So basically, any review that this group offers is worthless because we are only allowed to sing praise upon local businesses and not report when something goes wrong.

 I get not wanting to badmouth local businesses.  Hell, I might work for a competing one and say something to try to sway the moms away from my competition.  I get it.  But if someone recommends something and I take that recommendation and my child is insulted there I feel like other moms MIGHT want to know that.

 The lessons I learned from this are :

A) Don't cheat on your hair stylist.  Karma will come bite you and your children in the ass.

B) Don't trust any reviews from the censored moms' list.

C) Continue to cut My Little Guy's hair myself


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