Mothering boys is nothing like I expected. Maybe because I never really pictured the actual day-to-day nitty-gritty life of raising little men. I pictured the sweet moments of little sleeping boys, and the cute football one-piece football jammies, and even those teenage boys talking to their mama about girls moments. And while there have been, and hopefully will be those moments, the every day real of being a mom of boys is quite different than I expected.
Here's a peek into my world...
10 Signs You're a Mom of Boys
1. You know the names of all the Avengers and exactly what powers they use to defeat evil.
2. Your primary criteria for purchasing pants for your children is how durable the knees look.
3. OxyClean is a standing item on your grocery list.
4. You know every poop, pee, fart, and underwear joke being told in the elementary school this week.
5. You regularly have to ponder such questions as would an elephant or a whale win if they were to fight each other. And there is no simple answer; location, timing, available allies, and weapons all must be considered, as well unlikely scenarios such as aliens helping one or the other out.
6. You have read the entire Captain Underpants series. Some more than once.
7. You have to do a spot check around the toilet to ensure you don't step or sit in pee. Every time.
8. You find football plays drawn in your work notebook after leaving it on the kitchen counter.
9. You've had to answer awkward questions about why a penis is hard and why it won't go down in the morning. You've also had to say statements you never, ever imagined you would, like "Please don't put your penis on the cat," and "No one needs to see your penis right now."
10. You have been called a beautiful princess, told you were the only girl ever allowed in a fort, had a four year old tell you he wants to marry you, and have been loved in a way so fierce, strong, immense, and melt-your-heart beautiful it could only be the love of a boy for his mama.
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