You know you’re an NFL wife when…

3 years ago

It’s a good thing I like football.
Because when you marry a man who has spent most of his life playing the game – and nearly seven of those years in the National Football League – football is not just a game, it’s a way of life. You know you’re an NFL wife when…

1. Your husband snaps, crackles, and pops upon getting out of bed in the morning, and he’s not even 50.

2. When watching a game with your husband, he is able to identify – and announce – a penalty several seconds before the referee does.
3. Letters arrive in the mail at random from fans who kindly request that your husband autograph his enclosed football cards, and then send everything back in the self-addressed stamped envelope provided…all so that said fan can sell the cards for profit on eBay:
4. Your husband may be 6’6” and weigh over 300 pounds, but you think his size is average.
5. Your son’s first football jersey…is his dad’s:


6. Your husband possess two names: The one he was born with – and the nickname his teammates bestowed upon him after he was drafted. (The latter is used so frequently, it may as well be added to his birth certificate.)
7. You never tire of hearing all the stories from his playing days.
8. Complete strangers will talk crap about your husband’s team, and then turn right around and ask for his autograph.
9. Your husband’s 3XL-sized professionally-framed jerseys adorn the walls of your home, becoming mainstays of the décor. They’re like Lay’s potato chips: You can’t have just one because there’s the home jersey, away jersey, college away jersey, college home, etc. Here is one of three in the hallway leading to our bedrooms:


10. Football will be worked into your wedding day ensemble, some way, somehow – i.e. a garter belt bearing your husband’s team logo, a groom’s cake or thong with your husband’s number on it, etc. Yours truly may or may not have had these items in her possession:



Courtney Conover, The Brown Girl with Long Hair, is a mom of two and wife of an ex-NFL player. She has more Legos and NFL memorabilia than she knows what to do with. She blogs at The Brown Girl with Long Hair.

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