You Could Snoop Around, But Should You?

3 years ago

We are all naturally curious people but sometimes, that curiosity can get in the way. Curiosity, they say, can kill a cat, and it may also kill your relationship.

When curiosity begins to creep into your relationship, you may get that itch to snoop on your significant other by looking through his/her phone. But is that itch to snoop a necessary precaution or unnecessary paranoia?  Whether you choose to believe it or not, snooping is a bit of a trust breaker and, as we all know, once trust has been broken it can be a pretty difficult task to re-establish it in a relationship.

Before you pick up that phone or rummage through your lover's things, decide where the line is between sensible information and suspicious diving actions. If you get a gut feeling that something just isn’t right, that your boo is lying to you, something may be going on behind your back; 8 times out of 10, your gut instinct is right. The best thing to do is pay closer attention. You know how they operate. You know when there is a change in personality and a change in their communication with you.


Image: Mark Roy via Flickr

News flash....when you snoop you WILL find something. After all, the reason you are snooping is because you are looking for something….right?? Keep in mind, though, that text messages can be blown way out of proportion. That’s the down side of texting-- you never know the tone behind the message. So when you go snooping, you can easily misinterpret something and that misinterpretation can lead to unnecessary drama, simply because you read too deeply into something that was actually very innocent.

Here’s an idea: if you notice any changes, if your lover is doing something that is bothering you or you are curious about the change in normal actions (even towards you), mention it. You have to communicate and communicate effectively.  Talk things through instead of snooping and possibly damaging your relationship beyond repair.

There is a thin line between privacy and keeping secrets. If for any reason, curiosity about your S/O's actions begins to overtake you, and snooping has crossed your mind, ask yourself a few questions:

  • What will snooping accomplish? 
  • Are you willing to possibly damage your relationship? 
  • Are you willing to take the risk of losing your boo’s trust by snooping, when you could have addressed your curiosity, simply by having a conversation?

For any relationship to go the distance, respect has to be maintained, honesty adhered to, and boundaries honored.

You could snoop….but should you?


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