Will My Daughter Follow In My Dating Footsteps?

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

We’ve all seen those commercials that advertise internet dating sites. There’s one in particular that pokes fun at a woman trying to find a mate by using the “speed dating” tactic, the intention of which is to find out as much as possible about the person by asking questions in a short period of time.

It was clear in that commercial that her search for true love was likely to include some less-than-perfect specimens, but you have to admit to the genius of the idea. Who wants to have to go on several dates, lasting at least two hours each, only to find out that the person is a dud? Worse yet, who wants to be seen with several different guys in the space of a few weeks? I live on a small island where everybody knows your name, so that won’t work here.


Image: Bill Sutton via Flickr


To find your perfect match on these dating sites, you are required to complete a profile. If you were raised in the Caribbean, you will know that this would normally be performed by your parents, who, along with giving the prospect the third degree, would ask the simple question, “Who are your people”? And the man or woman would likely be accepted on the strength of his or her parents’ credentials, since as a youngster you didn’t have any of your own, and if your parents were considered “good people”, then you must be alright.

Even though some Caribbean societies can still be considered small, we are no longer as closely knit as we used to be, so it’s very possible that my daughter may bring home a suitor and I won’t know who his “people” are. Even if I did, these days, with the apples falling quite a ways from the tree, his good character might not necessarily be guaranteed. And if I was to take a cue from my sister-in-law, I’d have to be sure to ask for a medical history too.

So with my daughter having already done some groundwork, and having been armed with her minimum requirements, I will be expecting a gentleman who visits her at home often, talks with her, encourages her dreams and sees her as a part of his own, takes her to meet his parents and knows that there’s no need to rush to do the things that grownups do. There’s nothing wrong with expecting him to open the door for her, too.

This is the type of person that I would wish for anyone’s daughter, so it’s only fair that I prepare my son for the day when yours brings him home to you.

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