Why I Wrote a Book About My Sex Life

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

I've been in Washington D.C. and working in politics for over 15 years.  I've seen all the sex scandals and how they've played out.  So, why did I decide to put all of my past relationships out there?

Simple.  I knew the only way women would identify with my story, my relationships and my insecurities is if I were completely honest about them.  

In Finding Mr. Righteous, I write about how the men I've dated have influenced my religious journey.  I didn't set out to date men of different religions, it just happened that way.  An atheist.  A Catholic.  A Evangelical.  A preacher.  A Quaker.  A Jew.

One Saturday I was crafting an email in my head to reach out to one of the guys in the book about some religious questions. The questions were real, but I wasn’t sure if they were coming from an honest place. Was I using a man to get religion or using religion to get a man? Then the title, “Finding Mr. Righteous,” came to me. I went to my computer to see if the title had been used before. It hadn’t! Even www.findingmrrighteous.com was available! I bought it and started making a few quick notes, which later became an outline, in my iPhone.

Yes, there's sex in the book.  Some of it hot.  Some of it uncomfortable.  All of it real.  But it was worth it because the lessons I learned over the last 15 years have been invaluable.  The lesson I appreciate the most is that there is more heartache in prolonging bad or unhealthy relationships than there is being alone. Some things will always be a struggle, so it’s a lesson I have to remember every day.