Why is it that when a woman is defending herself she is harshly labeled? But when a man defends himself he is just making a point? While at a bar a friend and I were provoked by a young man and no one seemed to notice or care. Living in New York has its share of unsavory characters and sticky situations. I’m pretty well-adjusted and try to take these occurrences in stride. However, sometimes you just have to do something out of the ordinary, like I did. A friend and I were spending an evening at a popular neighborhood bar. We grabbed some drinks and talked about food, life and love, happily minding our own business. A not-so-bright young man in his twenties approached and asked if we were from the area. Explaining he was from Texas, he inquired advice about the beer selection. I said I had no idea since I’d only been to that bar once and I don’t drink beer. My friend kindly responded with a few options. We were satisfied with our answer, so we politely returned to our conversation. As the night went on we decided to take a gander at a dating game app in which you swipe across the photos of other members to “X” or “Heart” their pictures indicating your interest in them. While we continued the game, we noticed the young man looming over our shoulders, making nasty comments about us to his friend. He then decided to intervene, this is when things got hairy.
In his southern drawl he said, “Thanks for your advice ladies, and now I have some advice for you.” My stomach sank. This situation was going to get ugly. Very ugly. “I know you are h*rny ladies, but you won’t find your big D– (expletive) on that app. Expletive expletive…more expletives.” Appalling. Not sure what we could have done to offend this poor lad. Perhaps he was jelous that we were paying more attention to an app than we were to him. Whatever the case may be, when did this behavior towards someone you don't even know become acceptable?
Surprised at what he said to us, I calmly told him he needed to leave. Immediately. He didn’t listen; mistake one. As if his behavior wasn’t disgusting enough, he continued giving us unsolicited advice, calling us derogatory names in the process; mistake two. Apparently he thought he was justified to belittle my friend and me. He was offeneding that we were defending ourselves. That kind of behavior, coming from a woman, was demeaning. I told him we would tell security to remove him. That comment, apparently deemed us Manhattan B*tches; mistake three. Although I wasn't being bitchy at all. I just wanted him to leave. But then, the fire came out. I could be kind no longer. I picked up my glass. In a split second I determined that the liquor inside it would be more beneficial to me if it was splashed across his face, rather than in my stomach. I tossed my drink at him, lime and all. Finally, he and his friend made their way out the door. At last, I could breath again without all that negative energy clogging my airways. Now for your turn, what on earth would you do in this situation?
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