Why Didn't He Call Me??

9 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

In the process of finding a new partner, I have been actively dating and getting to know a few people better. But dating is a tiring process of trial and error.

I was dating one guy I liked a lot, we started bonding and things were going well and then Bam! He's the mighty Disappearing Man.

I know this is a common phenomena that has been plaguing women from all around the world for centuries.

But this is the first time that this has EVER happened to me. I must say... it has been a VERY humbling experience.

I had 4 dates with him within 1o days! So I really thought he was interested in me. He was good looking, quirky, fit, intelligent, and most importantly - nice guy.

They were great dates that were very comfortable, and filled with happy moments, watched Euro league on tv with him, spent hours talking into the wee morning that sort of thing...

So I am appalled that he actually pulled the disappearing man act. I thought boys only did this sort of thing when they were 16 and didn't have the balls to be honest and upfront. But this guy is 30 years old... so can someone explain to me why he would stoop to playing such a cheap trick on a girl like me?

Actually, after our first date, we were supposed to have another one the very next day. I remember feeling so happy! But suddenly, that day he ignored my calls. Ok.. how busy can someone be? All he had to do was pick up the phone to let me know it's cancelled, right?

But he did't call the WHOLE DAY. And the next day, I sent him an SMS just asking him to be considerate enough to reply so I know he's alive and not been in a car accident or something. He replied. He told me he felt pressure, and that's why he tuned out.

Still, after that questionable episode, we had three more good dates. Then he morphed into the Disappearing Man ... AGAIN!

He didn't ring when he promised to. I don't play games; if me making the call is going to make me feel better, I just make the call. So I called him. But he never picked up or returned my call.

I gave it a day, and then I sent him a nasty message about him treating me like dirt. I am stupidly honest, direct and straightforward as hell. Some people appreciate my honesty.. some people don't.

I've dated assholes before... but at least they had it in them to pick up the phone and be honest. In fact... when I was 17, my boyfriend of 5 months or so, actually broke up with me through EMAIL! But at least that is better than nothing... and besides, he was just a teenager then!

Having been through this experience of rejection, the first bit of advice I will give anyone in this predicament is to stop beating yourself up about the whole thing.

He didn't call. It's his loss.

Sometimes in life, a little shit must fly.

Some day... you probably won't even remember his name.


Holly Jean's Top 10 reasons Why He Didn't Call!
10. You vaguely mentioned the word "marriage" in casual conversation.Doesn't matter if you've only just known him a week and were not at a point where you were actually considering marrying him! If you mention the word marriage, no matter what the context, slime balls with commitment issues will run for the hills.

9. He thinks you're crazy.
In fact he's probably in the pub right now telling his friends about how he met a really hot chick... but boy was she psycho.

8. It was just sex
He didn’t like you in the first place but he figured he’d get laid. He did and now he’s lost interest.

7. He decided you would be too good for him since he is a bastard
So... you should be thankful he's such a considerate bastard who takes the initiative to disappear from your life.

6. He just remembered that he's married.

Or his wife saw your sms in his phone last week and beat him. Hard.

5. You were BAD in bed.
Need I say more?

4. He happened to meet a prettier girl
Be thankful you lost this guy then.. cos there will always be someone prettier and younger and skinnier... that's the way life just is. You got to find someone who wants the real deal.

3. Face it. You are annoying.
You whine. You want cuddles. You want attention.

2. He's playing hard to get
Though if you wait a week and he's still not around... then maybe he doesn't want to be gotten... by you.

1. He died.
Plain, simple and not at all improbable (If there is a God).


haha.. I love coming up with my Top 10s, it really makes me laugh. I hope it put a smile on your face too, no matter what your predicament may be.

But truth of the matter is... inside I am still a little sad.

Oh well, one day I will find the guy I really like, who will put in as much effort as I do to make things work. I hope you do too :)