When Sex Can Trash the Self

4 years ago

A woman I know told me that when she first had sex and lost her virginity, she felt she had been run over by a Mack truck. She felt it took her years to recover from it. But because of her mental conditioning, she thought that that was supposed to happen. That somehow her self esteem was supposed to diminish. She was thrown off her path for years just by having teenage sex with a man who didn’t care about her, and with men afterwards who did not esteem her at all. They thought of her as someone fluffy, disposable, not to be taken seriously. They did not see her as powerful.

In my teens and twenties, when I was certain I understood sex perfectly, I often had unemotional, athletic sex with men.  When we parted company, it was clean (I thought).  We’d had a good time and then it was over.  The “game” part of me was smug – I’d fulfilled my sex drive for a little while.  But my being, the ancient, sensitive, psychic being that I and all women are, was not pleased. 

There was actually a subtle feeling, something like my friend’s.  Not a Mack Truck but maybe a Mini Cooper that was driving in the wrong direction after the encounter.  I was drained and I knew it.  Taking a shower, going to classes, focusing on other things took the edge off the sense of unease, but if someone had asked me to respond with three answers to the question, How do you feel right now? – the third answer being closest to truth –I would have admitted that I felt like shi_.

These moments happen because there is something basic that men and women, teens, tweens do not understand.  As a woman, you have an energy body that is very fluid, it extends out from your physical body like a large butterfly’s wings.  As a woman, you conduct life force much more rapidly than a man, and because of this, your essential nature is power.  Women exemplify power.  Look at how power is generated in nature and technology – the core of power is rapid movement.  This is how life force or kundalini energy is conducted through the energy body of a woman – rapidly, capable of fast transmutation.

The energy body of men is denser, more tightly packed.  They conduct life force more slowly than women.  Their essential nature, the equalities they exemplify, are love and humility.

It’s a tendency of human nature (male or female) to destroy what one is threatened by.  Thus men, threatened by the power of women, have tried to suppress it in every way.  For many thousands of years, women have been suppressed socially, emotionally, financially, held back from education – to the extent that women themselves began to think they were weak. 

Now, in this mental age, the power of women is becoming more and more evident.  You as a woman have power, but you can trash it.

For example, let’s say you, a woman, want to go out and have sex with a male partner (this scenario refers to heterosexual relations).  Consider the dynamics. 

Your energy body vibrates faster than his.  Your energy body is also more sensitive than his.  Let’s say this man is like many men and still harbors some distrust or resentment towards the power of women.  When you go to bed with this man, even if you think it’s casual sex, you open yourself up so that his feelings enter into you.  You may not realize it but you are picking up an entire library, a psychic archive of this man’s feelings about women.  You are not just getting laid.  You are getting imprinted.

Sex is an energy exchange.  If you go out and date a “bad” guy, a macho guy, an angry guy (or gal), whew!  You are sucking up those qualities into your being every time you spend relaxation time or sex with this person.  For the average date-and-run, you are getting your power taken away, and in its place you are receiving a host of negative images and impressions.  Spending time with the “wrong” person is a bad exchange.  You’ll never know what you missed by not allowing your being to blossom in power.  You’ll never know what doorways you did not walk through.

Back in the very olden days, sex was a high spiritual practice.  There was nothing angry, bad, foolish or weird about it.  People had sex to elevate their consciousness.  You, the power woman, can still do that by going to bed only with nice partners who do not harbor anger and resentment towards you or towards women. 

 I’m not suggesting that all men are bad.  But many men have very disrespectful and inappropriate ideas of women, and during sex, they inject those ideas into you, without your being aware (in your state of sexual openness) and trash your power potential.  You crawl out of your twenties eager to get out of the dating mess and settle down.  Emphasis on the word, “settle.”    

You have to make sure, mindful ladies, that the man being allowed into your body is only projecting into you the highest views of your power and your being. And that will be the partner who honors the highest ideal of power in you, the tsunami fully risen. If a man or partner can’t accept that about you, then he/she is doing you a great disservice.  If you meditate, your partner’s doubts and negativity will prevent you from becoming enlightened.

Suggestion!  Go out with nice partners or don’t go out at all, and start to observe.  If you are dating men, find men who embrace their love and humility.  Observe the faster, more fluid energy body of women and the more grid-like, denser energy body of men.  It’s all around you.  Trust your intuition.  Compare a night in the sack with a partner who may be in a low consciousness with a bright, joyous, powerful and self-confident existence in which you help others as well as yourself.  Consider helping the planet by becoming as powerful as you can be.  Don’t settle, please!  

Liz Lewinson is author of Independence Ring: Rock the Female Revolution. She is also a speaker, technologist and Buddhist.  See www.independencering.com

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