Photo credit: kinetic
About 5 months to go before my wedding day and something still feels ‘not right’ inside me. I’m not talking about being doubt in entering such a brand new life. And I’m definitely not talking about still being confused of what to wear on the said big, fat day. Instead, there’s some elusive-yet-concretely-felt sensation throughout my blood that’s saying “Don’t just go.”
Yes, that’s what it is. I don’t want to go ‘just like that’. Single life has taught me A LOT. And now that I’m getting married, there’s no decent good-bye? I’m not referring to a bachelorette party or whatever. This has nothing to do with shindigs, at all. This would have something to do with something ‘beyond’; something meaningful, something memorable – a one-of-a-kind ‘rite of passage’. Yet I’m still clueless.
Long time ago, I always dreamed of getting married at the age of 22. Heart broken, I changed the target to be 38. And here I am, aged 24 going on 25, getting married, not knowing what to do in the last 5 months of being a single woman. I feel sort of ‘in a rush’. I feel the abstract and concrete feelings, both at the same time. I feel surrounded by thick white clouds, I can’t see anything.
What did you do months before you got married (besides being a bridezilla)?