Editor's Note: I'm an avid tweeter and often interact with women bloggers. I called for submissions on topics related to Love & Sex and encouraged women to join BlogHer and begin posting. The following is a fascinating perspective on being young and celibate, especially as a college student. -- Feminista
I love sex, but I am not having it, and you can be sure that it is difficult. I'll be frank: It SUCKS. Yet, my decision has not changed, and I am seven months into my sexless lifestyle. Unfortunately, this doesn't exactly make my dating life easy. In fact, it's nearly nonexistent. I'm a senior in college, and I could probably count on one hand how many guys here would actually be involved in ANYTHING close to a relationship with a girl with whom they won't be having sex. I mean, sure, they would lay in bed with me for awhile and be perfectly fine kissing or doing everything BUT penetration, but eventually they will want to get in the honey pot. What makes it even worse is that college is looking more and more like Noah's Ark, except I'm completely mateless.
Well, mostly. There are guys who are "interested." They find me attractive and make it known that they do, and I appreciate that. Yet, it fizzles quickly when they find out that I am celibate and have no intention of getting any, at least until graduation (one month and three weeks away).
Image: Emily Rachel Hildebrand via Flickr
Why graduation? *See above "I Love sex"* I love reading about it, hearing about it, sometimes hearing it, and most of all having it. For some reason, though, whenever I have sex on a regular basis, the rest of life goes completely out of the window. I mean, I'm skipping classes, gaining weight, going through changes with friends, etc. I am very prone to irrational decisions when I'm having sex regularly and I have to focus. Seriously, I'm seven months celibate and my grades have never been better. It might be considered superstitious, but "To thine own self be true," and things, right? So, the way I see it, I'm not ready for sex as much as I would LOVE to be, so until then *crosses legs*.
Fortunately for me, there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That pot's name? Let's just call him M3. We've been friends... we've been morethan friends, and in my mind he's very much mine. Ironically, he's the guy I love (romantically) the most and we've NEVER had sex. When I say never had sex, I mean he hasn't even FELT anywhere close to the sweet spots in my nether regions. I honestly feel that is the thing that makes me love him the most, and luckily for my celibate status, he has just gone to boot camp for the Marines. Yep. Safe zone. He is pretty much indescribably wonderful and it will take an entirely different post to explain how he happened, so until then...