The verdict is in...

6 years ago


I was right about ‘Tuscany,’ dead right. Damn I’m good. My scum-detector is fully functional. Now I can smell them coming off like a cheap suit. I knew he was hiding something, and I finally got it out of him.

the duped cow

I'm no pushover. 

Yesterday morning came a  brief greeting, to which I replied equally as brief… then came the rest: (bad grammar included)

T: Brrrrrrrrr what a cold message. If we are going to know, or not depends 100% on you only, and you actually keep seeming not interested at all in knowing me.

CM: Hi… I was awake writing last night until 2am, I woke up a short time ago. I am in a fog, and just now having coffee and breakfast. My brain doesn’t function without coffee. So there you are,  a little more information about me.

T: Ok I am going to wait for you taking your coffee for reading your comments.

CM: Completely random comments/thoughts of the day: War is bad, gelato is good, I spend too much time at the pc, Diane Arbus was a great photographer, my head hurts. Time to go outside and see the sun.

T: No, I am waiting for your comments about yesterday’s email – “Sure I can only repeat that to know ME and my personality you have to meet me…but that is 100% up to you…And if you want to start knowing a bit of mine through here for sure I need to “feel” something from the other side to as I am not Hamlet or Platoon…. and that is 100% up to you too… Have a great day.

CM: Sorry I didn’t get the reference – Platoon? It’s a war film by Oliver Stone. You said many emails ago – “eventually,” so why are you pushing it? And just curious – how would that work? you are 5 hours away, so you must have some idea or scenario how it’s possible – I don’t really, because I don’t drive. So do tell.

T: The Greek philosopher. Maybe you forgot you NEVER told me you WANT to meet me, and as ANY meeting can happen if BOTH persons want it to happen, it is nonsense to start thinking about such meeting may happen until BOTH person WANT it to happen. Life is always one step at time.

CM: Oh, PLATO. Ok now I understand. Exactly – one step at a time. Finally we agree on something. sure we can meet, but I don’t know why you focusing on this so much.

T: Ok, so let’s focus in thinking about when and where such meeting may happen.

After somewhat  reluctantly agreeing to a meeting, I mentioned I wasn’t free this weekend as it will be my birthday, or next  – as I may have an appointment (actually a date with another guy). He said he almost never has weekends free anywways as he has a son. I had either seen that and forgotten about it or completely missed it. Damn! you know you have been reading to many profiles when…? I told him it was bad timing and it’s not going to work. But there was more…

T: If we BOTH don’t strongly want it, it won’t work for sure…and that was something I kept saying since the VERY beginning.

CM: Do you NOT understand I am a serious person, and I am not seeking possiblities in this world only to be someone’s casual “friend.” And I get the impression you are open and will accept these kinds of scenarios for yourself – and that’s fine for you. It’s just not for me. It doesn’t make a difference if you want it or not. Everyone has responsibilites, and they come first. This is life. If there is no time, then there is NO time. It’s simple. facts are: 4-5 hours is not a short commute, I don’t have a car, or an expendable income to rent myself a hotel room somewhere (because I am going to Copenhagen in April, and I need money for that, and of course my blood money to INPS to stay in this country). So if you have some grand idea – you can say, I am happy to listen. And what about this child’s mother?

T: Again and again: If you don’t strongly want a thing to happen – You can’t find even a second, if you DO want that thing to happen, be sure you’ll find a way. THAT’s life. I am very serious too…but that has nothing to do with my question about you wanting (or not) to meet me. I guess that the easiest thing for 2 people to meet is one to invite the other one.

He was fishing, and there was the hook.  There was NO way I was going to invite this guy to sleep over, as I was starting to regret I even agreed to meet him in the first place.

CM: You never said how old your son was, or anwered my question: “What about the child’s mother?”

T: My son is 4, and due to him, me and his mum (my former girlfriend) are still living together even if we are not together anymore since 1 year.

CM: No way. This is BULLSHIT! You think I am stupid? I knew it! THIS is why I have your office number and not a cel. or home number. THIS IS NOT information you keep to yourself. You should have said this in the beginning. PLUS, YOU SAID YOU LIVED ALONE. F'ck you.

T: If you already know the replies why do you ask me?!?!? I am keeping waiting for knowing when and where we can meet.

Delusional. I can only wonder what part of “f'ck you” he didn’t understand. Later I wote the following email (half of which was in Italian for his benefit). But I translated most of it here… Hopefully it will clarify it for him:

You’re  a player (and a liar), and if you don’t understand in English – significa: GIOCATORE. I am NOT going to meet a man that already lives with a woman. Because it’s bullshit and very bad karma. I am not interested, understand? … and wtf were you thinking? I would say -  “YES! No problem! Come to my house and you can sleep here!” Give me a break! I’m not stupid. By the way, you are not the “typical Italian male” …  You are the typical Italian “douchebag” (an upgrade). And if you didn’t understand  – “f'ck off” in English… significa vaffanculo. This conversation is finished.

Do I feel bad about it? Absolutely not. I was never missing anything - He was about as funny as riding a bike with hemorrhoids. A guy that doesn’t believe in marriage? Sure, because he is living with one and sleeping with the others that are photographing him nude. But It felt good to expose him (no pun intended).

There are many others in the fish bowl, and tomorrow is another day.


This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from love

by Ashley Papa | 4 days ago
by Catherine Donaldson-Evans | 10 days ago
by Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW | 19 days ago
by Colleen Stinchcombe | a month ago
by Ashley Papa | a month ago
by Julie Sprankles | a month ago
by HelloFlo | 2 months ago