I have a confession to make: I've spent more time over the past 18 months thinking about how tied my self-esteem is to my desirability than I had the entire previous 30+ years.
The reasons for this are twofold: 1. I had a baby and 2. I went through a breakup. My confidence took a nosedive for awhile. I'm honestly still working on it, but the number one lesson I've learned is how imperative self-care is. Mental, spiritual, physical...sexual. True story.
What's Sexual Self-Care?
Sexual Self-Care is a term I may have just invented to describe the work I've put in in order to feel like the vivacious, voluptuous flirtatious sexpot I was meant to be. All the elements that fall under the self-care label have become increasingly crucial to my very sanity as I age, especially as the entrepreneur/mom/superfriend voltron that I am. It's very easy to put everyone else before me. It takes a concentrated effort not to love everyone else first.
One of my favorite ways to treat myself is buying lingerie. Lace, satin, and garter belts make me feel sexy and desirable, and that gives my confidence a huge boost. That benefits me, most importantly, because life is more enjoyable when you're strutting through it. But it also benefits any boos on deck.
As a mom I'm told I can't be a sexual being. As a businesswoman I'm expected to be almost asexual to be taken seriously. And as a plus size woman I'm constantly bombarded with images and propaganda designed to make me feel bad about all this body I got. So being audacious in my sexuality feels very much like a revolutionary act.
Now building a lingerie collection isn’t as daunting as it seems, I assure you. I’m a lingerie blogger and quite a few women have told me they’re either not sure where to start, their body isn’t “good enough”, or they can’t afford it. My picks won’t break the bank (most items are under $50 and none are over $100) and look great on all kinds of bodies. And they’re sexy as hell. You deserve to feel like the hottest woman on the planet and your boo will no doubt agree.
Image: Treacle Tart via Flickr
NEXT: Got hips and curves? -->
This set from Hips & Curves is classic. It comes in a few colors, but the red is perfect for Valentine’s Day. Your honey will have a tough time deciding whether to stare at you in this or remove it post haste.
NEXT: Be provocative! -->
Agent Provocateur is a luxury lingerie brand with luxury prices to match, but their diffusion line L’Agent is way more affordable. I dig the animal print on this set. It’s primal, as will be the reaction of anyone who sees you wearing it.
NEXT: Give your girls a boost -->
Bustiers offer more coverage than a bra, and a lot of oomph. Your breasts will be up to your chin in this thing. Cleavage for days. If you’re not comfortable snapping garters to thigh-highs, you can remove them or just let ‘em hang on your bare legs.
NEXT: Your lover won't cry over this spillage... -->
The cut-out on this bra is a nice, racy touch. You’re likely to spill out of it a bit, but why not? Let your cup runneth over. There’s also a satin bow on the back of the briefs if you wanna present that ass like the gift that it is.
NEXT:Let it flow! -->
Lingerie doesn’t have to hug every curve to be alluring. A loose, flowy babydoll can make the same impact as a bra and g-string if it makes you feel sexy.
Midnight Love Affair Babydoll Set ($26.95)
NEXT: Functional sexiness awaits... -->
Women with large breasts have a frequent, legitimate gripe: their bras are never functional and cute. But brands like Freya deliver on both fronts--major support and major allure. Cup sizes start at D, and go up to J.
NEXT: Try a sexy tummy-tucking delight -->
If you’re not comfortable exposing your mid-section corsetry is just what you need. Even apple shaped women can create an hourglass silhouette in a corset; the laces in the back cinch the waist beautifully.
Mon Amour Charmeuse Corset ($69.95)
NEXT: Latex isn't just for condoms... -->
If latex as a fetish is something that peaks your interest, start out with this retro-style bra and brief set. One of the many erotic things about latex is that you have to polish it to keep it supple and shiny. I suggest having your lover polish it. While it’s on you.
NEXT: Time to let kitty roar... -->
This leopard print teddy from Ashley Stewart’s “Dare To Bare” collection is steamy hot. I dig the criss-crossed lace panels in the front. You can mask a belly pouch if that’s a problem area for you.
Leopard Print Teddy ($37.12)
NEXT: Serve up a bit of naughty AND nice! -->
Bravissimo is another brand that caters specifically to chesty women, ranging from a D to L cup. This set has an adorable heart pattern, but the suspender gives it that dash of naughty.
Darling Heart Bra by Bravissimo ($49.02), Brief ($24.51), Suspender ($27.57)
I firmly believe embracing your sensuality and finding your inner seductress will do wonders for your spirit and your love life. Lingerie is one of the many ways to start and my picks are just the tip of the iceberg. Whether you're single this Valentine's Day or have a special someone, you deserve to feel as sexy and irresistible as you wanna be. And no better time to start exploring that side of yourself than Valentine’s Day. The 14th is supposed to be about love in all it's forms, no?
sarah huny young is an Art Director, music head, and lingerie aficionado who likes red lipstick, whiskey, 90's R&B, and being one dope mom to two dope kids. Her various projects can always be accessed via sarahhunyyoung.com.
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