I have several friends that have been asking me for about a year to do a post on dating and relationships. Particularly my dating and relationship “adventures”. But I choose to leave the past in the past, and focus on the future. For those of you who keep worrying me (though I know you do it with the best intentions), I decided to write this post to appease you! Since you seem to be more preoccupied with finding Mr. Magnet than I am (I mean, I do have a lot on my plate…like, for example, updating this blog twice a month), I’ve created this search guide just for you!
Please take heed and enjoy because when it comes to writing about dating and relationships, this is all you’re gonna get from me! Some of these aren’t necessarily requirements (R), but they are very strong preferences (P). For your convenience, I’ve delineated between the two. About the future Mr. Magnet...
1) He can correctly identify the movie from which these lines come (P): “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt…cuz I like to party so I like my Jesus to party.” Here's a hint:
2) He knows how to give a compliment (R). On an almost daily basis, I hear “How ya doing today Ms. Lady? You look just as good as ever as you did yesterday as usual as always.” That is NOT a typo. Nor is it an exaggeration. I have eyewitnesses. And please know that I am a woman who recognizes, enjoys, and knows how to accept and return a good compliment. But a compliment similar to the one above is simply exhausting.
3) He can teach me how to Dougie (P). My Dougie is not as good as I think it should be. So if he can teach me how to Dougie (and not laugh at me while I’m trying to learn), he might be a keeper.
4) He has a major sweet tooth (P). My baking skills are improving, and right now I can put my foot in (as we say down south) a couple of different cakes. I’m still working on the pies. A post recounting my baking endeavors is in the works. And sometimes, because I am such an awesome baker now, I only want my own cakes. But I only have a craving for a SLICE of cake. Of course, you can’t bake just a slice you have to bake the whole cake. And I know I could bake cupcakes, but they’re not the same. So I need somebody there to pick up my slack.
5) He understands that I regularly talk about celebrities and public figures in everyday conversation as if they’re my BFFs (R). And he’s okay with it. For example, when I say, “Janet hasn’t been on Twitter in a while…I wonder if she’s okay?” or “Michelle’s new haircut is super-cute! Have you seen it?” or even “Bethenny dresses Bryn in the cutest little outfits!” he knows exactly who I'm talking about. He doesn’t have to ask. And he doesn’t think I’m weird.
6) HE DOESN'T SEND ME TEXTS, TWEETS, OR E-MAILS IN ALL CAPS (P). Not on a regular basis, at least. I understand if he's in a hurry or if his caps lock is on and he didn’t realize it. No need to re-type because of that. There is a piece of fineness called Lamman Rucker (again, see here) who usually tweets in all caps. And, as fine as he is, I might have to unfollow him. I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING YELLED AT BY LETTERS.
7) He agrees that there is no reason whatsoever to pass horrible family names on to our children. (R). I feel very strongly about this. But this is for way down the road, of course...if and when we get to that point. If his name is Cleophus Aloysius Numbnuts III, PLEASE KNOW that there will NOT be a fourth. No disrespect to his father or grandfather but we are NOT continuing this legacy. I can’t do anything about the Numbnuts part; so I will be a Numbnuts and the baby boy will be a Numbnuts, bless his heart. But our son will NOT be a Cleophus Aloysius. Also, we are not combining names because it is so obvious when people do that…and it never works. For example, no kid named Magneophus . I love the future Mr. Magnet already, but no. Just…no. End of discussion.
Okay, so there you have it. THERE is your list. This should be enough to get you started and off my nerves for a little while, right? Love you! ;)
Oh yeah…I still want FULL audience participation on this one. So tell me: What qualities do you look for (or if you’ve already found your soul mate did you look for) in a significant other? My list is totally reasonable, right? RIGHT?!
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