Tonight, watching the movie got me to thinking about myself. And I was not expecting that. I was not expecting to watch the movie and for it to touch me in such a way. I was not expecting to be so moved.
I've always been the late bloomer. The girl that didn't blend in with anyone and I didn't fit in anywhere. The girl that has always been in the, "Sister zone" or the "Friend Zone". But, the fact is I have always wanted to be the girl that people wanted to hang out with. I wanted to be the girl that the guys love and wanted to hang out with. I wanted to be like the girls that the guys were physically drawn to, I just didn't ever think that I would have that power. And I must, it's taken a while to get to the point , where I can just accept my differences and accept my uniqueness.
I am not like anyone I know, and that's okay. It's not a bad thing to be that girl that ain't Easy. There's nothing wrong with being a challenge. There's nothing wrong with being that girl, that don't want to be one of the infamous, "SDG's". That's term a created called, The Speed Dial Girls. These are the types of women that are comfortable being the woman a man calls at night, when he either can't sleep or is hot an heavy and it can't wait until the nexy day or until the weekend. These are the women that think they've got the power, but they don't know that they don't.
They don't know that they've lost all of the power, when they pick up that phone and agree to late night tryst. They give up the power, when say that they are okay with a 'No strings attached' arrangement, when deep down inside, many of them want more. It's one of those situations where a person would rather settle for less than they deserve, than hold out for what they want and be alone.
Trust me, there are many evenings now, when I wished that I had a guy to give me a great big hug, but dropping my standards for less that I deserve is just not going to cut it. Like I always say, I don't look like Halle or Beyonce, but that still doesn't mean that I should take that, "Well, it's better to have somebody than to be alone" mentality. I just can't be with a Man, whom I know for a fact is with so many other women. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to them.
I seriously believe that this whole type of arrangement is degrading to women and to men. All of them, are just going for sex, just ease their lonliness and to fill their nights. But, where are many of these people when they need someone to talk to? When they need someone to confide in and trust? Well, that's where the girls like me come in. We're the people that they trust with their troubles and concerns and then once they've unloaded their feelings, they feel better. And then they go and call the good time girls and have themselves a blast of an evening.
I just want to know something. Is it all worth it? Is it worth it, to someone that you know is going to ne wiht someone else by the end of the week? Or by the end of the night? Some will say yes and others will say, That's just how the game is played.
Well, I don't know about them, but last time I checked, I don't have 'Fisher Price' or 'Playskool" tattooed across my forehead and I don't come with barcode or a certificate of authenticity. I am not a game player and I don't like be played or playing games. Whoever you are, show it to me. Because with me, what you see is what you get.
I know that if you're grown, you can do what you want. And just because I think that people should want more, doesn't mean that everyone's going to agree with me. But, I just want more people to stop and think before they act in all ways. I just want people to think about how their actions will effect them in the future.
But hey as they say, To each His own. Or in some cases, Her own.
To read my blog post on my blog, here's the link.
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