There is always a reason for everything

3 years ago

Today I saw the movie "The Fault in Our Stars"...a movie I've been wanting to see for awhile now. I don't know if this thought came to my mind solely because of the movie or because of a combo of the movie and my current situation. In either case it made me think about the idea of everything happens for a reason and if logic can ever be involved. Logic is something that is good to have especially in certain situations. Logic also makes things with romance worse especially for women. Logic leads to over thinking which leads to creating problems were there was probably no problems in the first place.

The "everything happens for a reason" idea is based on making yourself throw all logic out the window and just allow things to happen. For example say a person moves across country for a relationship that ends shortly after the move. The person can't move back for whatever reason, is heartbroken and doesn't know what to do. Suddenly a couple months later that person meets another person who leads them to an awesome career opportunity. Then after a couple months in the new job, which the person loves,  the person meets another great person through a work friend and they get married and have a happy life. Now this wouldn't have happened had the person listened to logic when making the choice to move or not. This is not saying this type of thing always happens. Maybe the point is that whatever heartache or bad decision we make is meant to happen in order for us to get to where we want to be.

What does this have to do with anything? Well I am in a situation where I met a great guy online. On our first date I was comfortable right away and we closed the place down talking. There was never a silent moment or really awkward question asked. We continued to text all night and we of course jumped into a relationship. A few days later he wanted to back things up, do things the right way and get to know me better. I was fine with this and a few days later he broke down to me. See his ex really did a number on him and he did not want her mistakes to affect us. He wanted time to move past her so he could be with me fully.  I again was fine with this because he made me happy for the short time we were together. So if there was a chance to avoid any heart ache that had nothing to to with us as a couple, I wanted to take it. I heard from him yesterday after almost 6 days of silent torture. He told me he was more lost than he realized..that he was doing better and getting things off his chest. He didn't know when he would be ready. He wants to be with me but feel guilty for making me wait and didn't want me to pass anything up. After what I felt with him I have no intention of looking else where.

There has been friends I  have told that are critics of this situation...saying it sounds sketchy. My reply has been maybe I will get hurt or maybe I won' least I won't regret and wonder if I had waited and tried. I ask whomever reads this to put the sketchy aside and focus on the point I want to make. That is what was it about me that made him realize he needed to figure things out? Further after taking some time what made him realize he was more lost? What was it about our situation that sparked this whole thing?

Is my hope that he saw something in me...something special that made him want to be the best he can be before being with me? Yes of course, is it so out there that it couldn't be true? I don't think so, it might not be the whole reason but it could be part of the reason. The fact is I have given him an out just like he gave me an out. He has no obligation to me at all and just like me has not decided to take the out. He is honest and has no problem being honest. So the fact that he doesn't take the out and still contacts me..even though days have passed is I feel a good thing. Some might feel like maybe he is just out for sex. I might lean that way but that is not the case.  We haven't even seen each other nor has he asked to see me. Now like I said all of this can sound sketchy, I admit. Maybe I could be getting played or I am setting myself up for pain. He is a genuinely good guy who I actually feel like he cares about me. He thinks so highly of me that he thinks about holding me back and feels guilty about that.  Even though he feels that way he has made it clear he wants to try this when he is ready.  Sometimes you just have a feeling about someone, I have a good feeling about him.

So getting back to the point, in the movie why does August come into Hazel's life in the movie? What reason was it that made that need to happen? Why do certain things have to have to happen to us in order for something else down the road to happen? Can the idea of everything happens for a reason really be logical?  Why did the guy who made me feel amazing right away suddenly need to take time to work on himself now? Some questions we will never have answers to. Sometimes the reasons why certain things need to happen in order for other things to happen aren't meant to be figured out. Bottom line don't let logic disrupt something that is happening for a reason.

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