teaching my toddler about her yoni

6 years ago
I took the time to shower after lunch today. I figured it had been since Monday and I'd been to the gym both Tuesday and this morning, so I figured it was about time. Showering with my contacts on, I could see it was time for other grooming too. I shaved my legs and armpits and when I'd dried off, I positioned myself somewhat awkwardly hovering over the toilet with our nail scissors in hand. At this point, Lilly decided to join me in our minuscule bathroom, studying me intently. As I always do when she sees me naked, I pointed out what's different, how mama has hair around her yoni and when she grows up she will too, and while it's not necessary to trim it, mama sometimes thinks it looks nice.

As it turns out, trimming one's yoni hairline half crunched over, I also get a not so flattering view of my formerly intact and plump labia drooping down in slivers of skin and flesh. It caught her eye too, and figuring this was as good as any time to take the education a step further, seeing as I've been blogging about the importance of talking to our children about their developing sexuality and all of their body parts over at lovesexfamily, I explained in my most upbeat voice that our vulvae have inner and outer labia, hers does too just like mine. This got her very curious and we finally got her pants and panties off and sat her down on a stool so she could see for herself.

From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children, Second Edition

My little toddler girl was so proud when she found her labia. Wow. And now let me just point out that pronouncing "my labia!" in Norwegian (kjønnsleppene mine!) over and over again is quite the feat. Seeing that it was almost naptime, she kind of zoned out touching her labia (as Haffner points out, toddlers often touch their genitals to calm themselves before sleep). - It feels good to touch one's labia, doesn't it, I said. She nodded, gaze glazed. And then I said the most extraordinary thing: - That's because our yonis are a very special part of our bodies. Imagine, it's through my yoni that you came out of my belly and into this world! - Lilly used to live in mama's belly, she mused.

I can't imagine a better way to round off this little lesson of ours. Not only did it empower her, it renewed my relationship to my yoni. It may not look the same, but it sure is an amazing part of me.

Originally published in Quizzical mama.

Quizzical mama
, aka Anne G. Sabo, Ph.D., is a renegade academic, writer, speaker, public educator and owner of the new online resource center LOVE, SEX, AND FAMILY devoted to holistic human sexuality information. Her blog quizzical mama is an educated and personal approach to the politics and philosophies of parenting, often addressing controversial issues, and often reflecting on different cultural values and practices in the US and her native Norway. She also writes about sexual politics and new porn by women (and some men) in new porn.

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