Teachable Moments

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

As an educator, I follow one pattern when introducing new content:

  • State it
  • Define it
  • Provide an Example/Experience
  • Repeat 

So now that I’m new to dating AGAIN, I’ve been forced to use this pattern.  Is dating a new concept?  Aren't there some universal guidelines that we all follow?  

I recently accepted a date from someone who pursued me for two years.  He was blatant and consistent about his interest.  I contacted this young man and let him know that I was single, and if he was available, I’d like to go out.  I suggested a comedy show.  He accepted and added dinner.  We agreed upon the time and locations.  When the day arrived, he was late and unprepared.  Not only did I drive, but paid too.  I was on a date with him...he was on a date with his telephone.  This is not his fault, but mine.  I assumed we had the same understanding and expectations date. We did not.

I'm not bitter, just disappointed.  However, this is a teachable moment.  We can no longer assume anything.  We must State it, Define It, Provide an Example, and Repeat.  So here we go.  It may even be good to have the other party re-sate in their understanding of what you are offering and soliciting.

  State it- Date.  I'd like to go on a date.  Define it- a social or romantic appointment (usually between two).  Example, We can get to know each other better over dinner or a comedy act.  I love to laugh and think the show will lead to easy conversation. Repeat- I'd like you to take the lead on this date if you're open.   

I'll keep you posted on the follow-up!

 

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