I'm not particularly fond of Valentine's Day or V-day as I like to call it in solidarity with other national holidays recognizing historic moments of strife. But I do try to show my affection and appreciation for my husband at least once a year, and V-Day is as good a time as any. The only problem is on the one day I try to show my love it's hard to find the right gift. Buying for my husband is always so tricky, particularly on Valentine's Day, which is why I try to avoid it. I do enjoy picking out little goodies for my kids, though, like the pink, glittery teddy bears holding hearts between their paws embroidered with the phrase, "I wuv u!" or large, heart-shaped Sponge Bob heads filled with gummy crabby patties or red little stuffed devils that say, "little devil," in case you missed it or fuzzy heart shaped antennae attached by wire coils to headbands because those go with everything.
But my husband doesn't really want heart antennae or pink teddy bears even if they do express my feelings for him. I don't know why he has to be so difficult. And this year I was a little slow on the draw, which really isn't any different from any other year, but still I was worried I was going to have an even harder time finding something special to truly show how much I care. I didn't even go out until yesterday to look for just the right factory-produced, mass-marketed tchotchkes. Actually, I went out for milk, but while I was in the store I said, "Hey, you know what? I should probably pick up some Valentine's Day cards," which lead me to the candy aisle, which lead me to say, "Hey, I should probably get gifts, too."
And, let me tell you at Walgreens I hit the jack pot. I mean I can always find some sort of V-Day treat for the kids there, but I never thought I'd be able to find a gift for my man. But I found it. The perfect Valentine's Day gift. One he'll treasure for years.
At first, I was just going to buy him a card. I almost bought him one that said, "For my sexy husband," but reading it over I couldn't keep a straight face - I tried, but I couldn't - so I had to put it back. Lucky for him I saw something even better. It's going to be really hard to top this: A pair of boxer shorts in a tasteful tabasco sauce print warning, "Caution: Contents are hot!"
What man wouldn't want boxer shorts that said that? Only my man's gonna be the one to get them. (Don't tell. I want it to be a surprise.)
I think it's gonna be a good Valentine's Day this year.
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