Within the first day of implementing this into my relationship, I actually said sorry not sorry over 15 times. My partner looked at me as if I was the crazy one. "What do you mean, sorry not sorry?" It was as if he was offended that I took back my apology. It was then I realized he had become accustomed to my "empty" apologies. As though he almost needed them. It made me angry, let's get something straight here, he rarely apologizes for anything and if he does, there is almost definitely a "but" at the end of it. Which if you ask me, is in no way an apology. I digress .... No, he's not a bad guy, he is just a guy, that has had a woman apologize to him for "nothing" for a long time. This, truly must be shocking for him, and I don't blame him.
A lot of men inherently do not apologize, not for things they aren't sorry for. Why would they, if they didn't do anything wrong. You don't often hear a man apologize for sitting next to you, or handing your child to you. This really made me think. Why am I doing this? It clearly makes me appear weaker, timid even.
Within days I actually stopped having to say, sorry not sorry, and just stopped apologizing for the stuff I wasn't sorry for. I say that loosely, I mean, come on, this is a hard habit to break, I have been doing it since the beginning of time. It will definitely be a learning curve in my relationship, but a good one none the less.
It also made me realize how often my kids say sorry. Not just my daughter, but my son also. I don't want them to apologize unless they really mean it, unless they have done something wrong. This is going to be the real challenge. Teaching my 14 and 12 year old that they don't need to say sorry for the "nothings". I will keep you posted on this journey.
What I have noticed. I am trying to stop apologizing for things that aren't my fault, things that really don't need an apology. This may be difficult, as I am Canadian and it kind of is our mantra *wink *wink.
What, if anything, have you changed since seeing this ad? Drop me a comment and let me know.