So you are single and have this wonderful and very detailed list of the qualities, attributes and looks you want in your future partner. Well aren’t you organized…and still Single! As matchmakers, we often hear a laundry list of the “I wants” and “I needs” of our single clients. After we finish going over their lists we ask them to cross off 3-4 of the items that they could actually live without. At this point they are staring at us like we are from Mars but they begrudgingly do as requested. Examples of the items that usually go are the exact height requirements, hair color and a few other things that don’t necessarily make someone a compatible partner for you. It is amazing how once you put something on paper you won’t budge in your beliefs that you can’t live without this in your relationship. We have actually had clients with pages full of criteria for a match. With the exception of Superman there isn’t a man alive or in the movies who could fulfill all of their wishes.
So how do you narrow down your list so you can actually meet a great guy/girl?
Here are 5 tips to making a reasonable and attainable “Criteria List”
- Take off anything specific about their height or age. You can have a general range but the best person for you may not appear in the exact package you think you want.
- Keep hobbies and wants general. For example: If you like to work out and play tennis then have on your list someone who is active. If they play tennis that is a bonus but if not that is ok too. They may like basketball or yoga to stay fit and active. Having different interests that are related to your main interests will give you something to talk about and you can both try new things together.
- Religion: If it is important to you then it should be on your list, if not take it off. As long as both partners fall somewhere in the middle then there is room for acceptance and for creating a spiritual or religious path that works for the both of you.
- Deal Breakers: Come up with 3 things that you absolutely don’t want to tolerate and stick to those only. Adding line after line of “no’s” that are not what make up the fiber of a person will eliminate some great people from your radar. You must be open minded when dating or you will be disappointed.
- Make it positive: Instead of having a page full of negatives create a list that inspires you to see the good in people. You want to create as much positive energy in your dating life so that you come across as happy and interesting. Look for the same in the people you go out with. For example: If you meet a guy/girl who has traveled the world to interesting places but wears out of date clothing, get excited by the adventurous person sitting in front of you. Focus on the positive and you can hopefully help them in the future to update their style. Don’t kill them off in your mind because they don’t dress up to par.
Remember that when dating you must be realistic and open minded. Otherwise you are heading for a long and lonely road ahead. We wish everyone success and happiness on this journey.
More from love