The holidays are a notoriously difficult time for many singles. Invites to parties are rolling in and dates are scarce, the weather is getting crisper and you're sans a snuggle partner, and the impending familial gatherings often come with a grande relationship status inquisition. It is the season to be merry, but the reality is that many are not when faced with circumstances that veer far from your (or other's) expectations. Fear not fellow singletons. I've got your back on this one. There are ways to navigate the holiday season as a single girl and come out of it feeling good about the season and yourself. The PSG Single Girl's Holiday Survival Guide:
"Single during the holidays" via Shutterstock.
6 Sticky Seasonal Situations...And How To Survive Them
The Sitch: Great Aunt Maude starts with the interrogation about your single status -- be polite. Having your relatives constantly question when you will decide to snag a man (like it's that easy...) is possibly the most annoying part of being single, but you don't want to alienate them by acting insulted or lashing out. That'll only confirm the notions that you are an unhappy single woman. Nor do you want to expose yourself to an hour long pity party. Instead, tell Auntie, Granny, or whom ever that you feel unbelievably lucky to live in a time where you can focus on self-development, career development, and fulfilling your own quota of singleton experiences before deciding to settling down. It's such a relief ;) Then offer to refresh her drink and go say hi to your niece.
The Sitch: No date to a holiday party -- There are two options to this dilemma. You can invite a friend to accompany you or you can just go solo. If you received an invite, you obviously know the host who can aid in introducing you to some new people. If you do decide to bring a friend to accompany you, don't remain attached at the hip. As I have always found, never know who you may meet at any given time and from a singles perspective, being confidently solo makes you more approachable to guys.
The Sitch: You're tired of watching It's A Wonderful Life -- So, you're snuggled up on your couch with a cup of warm coco and about to watch a holiday classic...alone...again. Don't fret, if you have no cuddle buddy and your seeking the closeness and yuletide warmth of others, then plan your own intimate holiday gathering in your home. Create some cozy holiday concoctions, put up some decorations, download a holiday music compilation, and put on some of your favorite holiday flicks. Invite a handful of friends over to lounge with you while you sip and snack, chat about holiday memories, and soak up the nostalgic ambiance. You can even play a game or two, or order one of those fake (yet amazingly realistic) portable fireplace online to top it all off. Creating your own new traditions is a perfect way to look forward to the season, whether coupled up or single, and you will get your love tank filled in the company of those you adore.
The Sitch: You had the perfect gift in mind for your ex...but you broke up before the holidays -- Take half of the money that you would've spent on his gift and buy yourself something fabulous (and fabulous does NOT have to mean expensive, for all my frugal gals out there). Take the other 50% of the dough and by a bundle of toys, canned goods, and/or hats/coats/gloves/scarves (super affordable at H&M). Take these items, wrap them up and deliver them to your local shelter, soup kitchen, or toy drive. Just because break ups suck does not mean that some good cannot be birthed from them. You'll feel great having done something for yourself and even better for reframing a loss into a gain for those less fortunate.
The Sitch: You didn't get your expected bonus and you cannot afford lavish gifts for your friends and family on your single girl salary -- We often forget that the holiday season is not all about gifts, yet it is the thing that stresses people out the most. You do not have to give and receive presents in order to have a happy holiday. In fact, some of my favorite Christmases have been when my family and I have decided not to exchange gifts (yes, none...gasp), but instead focus on being together and having the best meal/gathering ever. So, if you find yourself in a financial bind as many singles do (especially single New Yorkers...hello crazy rent!), then research a charity or cause that has an online donation system. Buy a set of holiday cards and in it write that you have decided to contribute to said charity this year. Then state that in lieu of receiving gifts, you would like your family and friends to contribute to the charity as well as their gift to you. You don't have to disclose the amount that you give. You're on a budget and even $5 makes a difference. Yes, you have to sacrifice your own presents, but you'll curb the awkwardness and guilt of getting gifts, but not being able to reciprocate and you'll be helping out others in the process who would be thrilled to be getting something as simple as socks this time of year.
The Sitch: The New Year's countdown has begun and you've got no one to kiss -- 'Tis better to not kiss a soul than to kiss one whom you internally loathe, right? Instead of dwelling on what you are not able to do, ring in the year: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Time to be thankful for the lessons learned, start anew, and kiss the past goodbye.
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