3 years ago



Q. I have very large bosoms for my body shape. I like my breasts but I’m really tired of the way male lovers focus on their size, to the point that I’ve considered breast reduction just to be viewed normally. Guys either get into a mother thing or a sex-object thing: both bore me. I want them to see ME as a person, not the size of my boobs! I do enjoy having my body admired / desired, but they get so into my breasts it’s as if they’re separate entities from me. It’s a very weird, disembodied feeling.


Do you know if there is any specific health issues connected with breast reduction surgery?






A. Janis, you say you like your breasts. I want you to think carefully about the idea of subjecting your lovely, healthy body to surgery because of somebody else’s response to you.


You are looking for a deeper connection than you’ve gotten so far from lovers, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find it. There are men who also want a soul connection, want to be seen for themselves, and are not hung up on objectifying their partners body. There are also plenty of bores, but it would be so much better for you to learn how to navigate the waters of selectivity and find what you want, than to change your body surgically so that some loser won’t ogle you.


Respecting and loving your body as it is and clarifying what is and is not acceptable to you in a partner is what I’d like to see you focus on instead.


As for risks involved in breast reduction surgery, all surgery involves risks. That’s why it should only be undertaken when medically necessary. If you do get surgery please choose a reputable surgeon with a verified track record of success, and discuss the risks thoroughly with her first. But I hope that instead, you’ll have a love –affair with yourself just as you are, which is: perfect.



Copyright© 2014

Shain Stodt is the founder of Informed About Sex and the founder/moderator of the Facebook page Radical Women Talk Sex. A Sex Educator (IASHS), author, and community activist,  Shain became involved in sex education with the New York Women's Center, where she worked with the pioneering Abortion and Birth Control Outreach project and lectured on sex education in the public school system. Shain also developed sexuality workshops for the Women's Center and other feminist organizations, and hosted a local cable program on sexual issues in New York City. She lives in North Carolina.

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