Shhhh! Secret Single Behaviors

6 years ago
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Since I’m now cohabiting with Kiefer, I rewatched an episode of Sex and the City that tackled that question.

Carrie stands in the kitchen eating jelly on crackers. Charlotte studies her pores. What are my secret single behaviors? What will Kiefer see that he doesn’t see now? And what will I have to change/hide?

  • Eyebrow plucking. I mean…I don’t pluck. My eyebrows are just naturally that thin.
  • After showering, I wander around in a towel. Sometimes it falls off…and I don’t bother putting it back on right away.  You can do that when it’s just you.
  • I talk to Esme using the baby voice: Who’s a pretty kitty?
  • I crank the music and run around lipsyncing into my hairbrush.
  • I’ll gladly stay in my pajamas all day. Or get dressed, run to the grocery store, and change back into my pajamas when I return home.
  • Esme loves chips. Sometimes I toss her one. Sometimes instead of eating it, she pushes it under the couch. Sometimes I forget to pick it up.
  • Pants. I hate ‘em. I hate wearing ‘em, and I hate sleeping in ‘em.
  • Most of  my fake pants are too short to be Boo-Radley-appropriate.

What else should I be worried about (besides sharing a bathroom with Boo and Radley)?