Does "Casual Sex" = "Sex Like A Man"?

Ever since my breakup, I have been having sex like a man. What do I mean “sex like a man”, you ask? Well, just what you think – no strings, casual sexAnd no, I don’t feel bad about it.

Don’t get all moral with me. I’m a young professional who has a stressful job and pays my own bills. If I want to have sex, then I should be able to have sex. Never mind that I don’t have time to date, but more importantly I haven’t found anyone that I want to date. Men do it all of the time! Why shouldn’t we? (And if you must know, I do know these guys. They are friends that I have known since college – and one co-worker – who do respect me.) It is just two consenting adults. **who use protection and get tested**

Image: Richard Scalzo via Shutter Sock

Truth be told, I never thought it would happen. In the past I got incredibly clingy after being intimate with a boyfriend – and like many girls, stupidly used sex to make guys like me in college…or at least try to get them to like me. That is why this is so liberating. I feel like I really can have it all – the great job, the great house, the great friends, the great family, the great vacations…and now, great sex – and I have all of this without a man. I’m completely on my own – and loving it.

Please don’t think that I don’t want a man in my life – I just don’t want to settle. And I’m tired of having these men in my life who are basically children. I think the thing that scares me the most is that while men my age are having less and less “stereotypical masculine qualities,” women my age are in turn having more and more “stereotypical masculine qualities.” And I don’t like it because I want a man who not only can provide for me but wants to provide for me…someone who knows how to do things – not stare at me clueless when interacting with the real world. Why are all of these guys trying to mooch off of me? Get a real job, honey!

Which brings me to my sex life. They say women hit their sexual peak at 30, or 28 as this Huffington Post piece suggests, so why should I have to miss out on sexual experiences just because I’m not in a relationship? I’m starting to enjoy sex and myself in a way I never have. And before you start yelling at me that sex is better in a relationship – I agree, wholeheartedly. Sex in a relationship can be mind-blowing because you love the person, you know the person, and can be fully open and honest, etc. Then again, there are some things I want to try that my boyfriend/husband may not be into but this guy I’m casually seeing is. And I want to try it before I get hitched. Take last night for example, I did things that no past boyfriend would ever have done…and boy am I glad that I did it. We needed a safe word and it was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. Call me a hedonist all you want, but I fully embrace the fact that I want to try *almost* everything once.

As I close my rant, I will admit that my feminine side does come into play. I have “rules” that most men don’t seem to have – like the fact that I must have a solid friendship history with them, and I certainly don’t sleep with more than one guy at a time. But it is so refreshing for both of us to know that while we don’t have a future with one another, we can have sex – but more importantly, fun.

Originally posted:

This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from love

by HelloFlo | 3 days ago
by HelloFlo | 9 days ago
by Jennifer Benjamin | 9 days ago
by Sara Lindberg | 11 days ago
by Ambreia Meadows-Fernandez | 12 days ago
by HelloFlo | 16 days ago
by Hannah Hickok | 17 days ago
by Gigi Engle | 18 days ago
by Anabelle Bernard Fournier | 18 days ago