"I'll be right back to bed," I whispered, slipping off my pants.
"I'll be waiting," Rob said, and ducked under the sheets.
Sounds like a good beginning to a romantic evening. Except--I was taking off my pants because I just got vomited upon by Sawyer. We were whispering because Sawyer was still in our bed, feverish and sweaty and coughing. For mood music, we had our loud fan and the humidifier whirring.
Not so sexy now, huh? It can be really tough sometimes to feel romantic when you have little kids. I don't know about big kids, since I don't have them yet, but little ones are so needy and so messy. Having children hasn't killed the romance in our relationship, simply made it harder to maneuver. It was a lot easier to FEEL attractive and mushy and lovey-dovey when not wiping snot from other people's noses, or cleaning poop off the carpet, or shedding vomit-covered pants. Or even simply when we both weren't so tired at the end of the day.
If you're waiting for some kind of sage advice or something, I think you're reading the wrong post. Consider this more of a warning, a reality. I think it's easier to go into things expecting reality. The reality is that having kids doesn't mean that you can't have romantic, special times. You just have to work harder for them. I think you also need a sense of humor to laugh at the middle-of-the-night puke on the pants times. Rob and I are still enjoying our marriage, our kids, each other.
I did laugh as I tossed my pants into the washer last night, thinking about this post. How this works is probably different for every couple. It isn't always easy to keep the romantic feelings alive once you have kids. But you CAN. Don't lose hope, couples without kids! Just enjoy the freedoms you have right now, and realize that one day, you are going to have poo on your shirt, dirty hair, and somehow figure out how to be romantic with a kid sleeping in your bed.