Online Dating: Dealbreakers

3 years ago

dealbraker_cropEverybody’s different, but we all have some situations that are dealbreakers when meeting and evaluating a potential boyfriend or girlfriend in person after we’ve connected with him or her online.

While we can — and should — be forgiving about some traits or characteristics (because, after all, none of us are perfect), others are just a “no go.”

For example, I’m a strong believer that there has to be physical attraction. And I bet that’s true for most people.

You can write to someone, talk to them on the phone and have all kinds of interests in common, but if you meet them and don’t find them physically attractive, the show’s pretty much over. The defining question I ask myself is: “Could I kiss this person?” And if the answer is no (or heck no!), it’s time to go home.

Here are a few other things that I just can’t live with:

fingersinears1) When the man meets you and launches into a monologue, never asking questions or showing the slightest interest in you and your life. A first date should be a give-and-take sharing of information, where each person shows interest and asks questions to get to know the other. (You wouldn’t believe how many monologues I’ve sat through with a semi-smile on my face, screaming inside my head, “Shut up! Shut up! I don’t care about any of that!”) It’s just incredibly rude and self-centered when someone does that.

2) When the man who is grossly obese. (I’m not skinny, but I’ve met several men in person who posted a photo of themselves at normal size and turned out to weight 300-400 lbs. when I met them. Their fingers looked like sausages and it was just repulsive. Ugh.) IMG_0345

3) When the man doesn’t have common courtesy. (I don’t mean to go all “Emily Post” about this, but if you’re just having a coke and he doesn’t offer to pay for it, or if he doesn’t walk you to the restaurant door and see that you make it to your car, or if he pulls out his telephone while you’re talking and starts texting, eats with his mouth open, picks his nose, etc. — those are definitely not good signs.)

4) dislikeWhen the man has either no sense of humor or a completely different sense of humor than you do.

5) When the man swears a lot — the really offensive words. (He just met you and he talks like a drunker sailor? I find that pretty disrespectful.)

My potential Mr. Right doesn’t have to be rich or famous, drive a fancy car, have an impressive job or wear expensive clothes; all I want is someone who attracts me and is a nice guy.

You’ve heard my dealbreakers. What are yours?

This is an article written by one of the incredible members of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.