A New Day During Divorce

3 years ago

Well, I don’t wake up, see new things and have “shock and awe”.

I have “well, that’s just GREAT”.
And sometimes?  I chuckle.  And sometimes?  I still cry.

At idiocy.
At choices that are incredibly ridiculous.
At making connections to people that are clearly not real.  Clearly.
At not being able to handle simple things.
At having no idea what the world is.
At the unimaginable things done.
At the fact that someone never loved you.  Really loved you.  As you did them.  They perhaps hated you.
At the idea that some don’t have to be accountable for their actions.
At the fallacy of a life.
At selfishness.
At the fact they will never own it.  Never.

And?  You chuckle, cry, shake your head, stare into space just…..don’t get it.

Why?  Because your values were never like that.  You thought you had similar values.  Ideals.  Goals.

But you didn’t….

And you know what?  It’s ok now.  Because?  I haven’t compromised my truth.  My ideals.  My dreams.  My future.

I just have to make it my own.

I was already doing that……anyway.  I was already alone…….and didn’t even know.  Alone isn’t scary.  Alone is soothing.

And that?  Brings this Ginger some mighty powerful thoughts.  Mighty powerful plans.  Mighty lofty goals for her boys and herself.

Because?  She is still the same person.  And won’t be broken by the one that she thought she knew for 26 years.

I won’t…because?  I’m stronger than that.  I’m a force.  And that force will prove herself

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