I am one of those girls who has been planning my wedding since I was 11. Seriously. And when it came, it was exactly how I had wanted it for all of those years- perfect, sparkley and princess-worthy...even though I'm 28 and my coworkers describe me as "not that girly."
What I didn't really take into account, though, as I became a fiercely independent, career-driven woman, is that when I got married, it might feel a little bit like losing my identity. I am a doctor, and being Dr. Maiden Name (stolen from someone else), I am also Dr. My Dad, my hero. And I love that. I love who I have become- a smart, independent, respected professional. Do I have to let some of that go?
Granted, at this point my plan is to change my name to FirstName MaidenName MarriedName, but that means dropping my middle name, which was given as part of my mother's name- an important life figure who died when I was six. How can I drop the part of my name that was hers? How can I drop any of it that is mine? Maybe this is what marriage means. From a biblican sense, it means leaving your family and becoming one with your significant other, and maybe this is why so many marriages struggle. We don't "become one" and think we should just remain the same and ourselves alongside someone else.
One of my favorite books to give other people is "The Missing Piece" by Shel Silverstein. The premise of the book is that a person needs to be able to be happy on their own before they can truly find a life partner to roll along with them. I think this applies to friendships as well as relationships. But maybe I took this too much to heart?
At least for now, I have to wait for copies of our marriage certificate before I can go change my name with the social security office and do all the legal stuff that this whole thing requires, but it is looming ahead. What is a princess to do?