My Hair is Like a Strainer

4 years ago

My hair is natural and my dates are few. Even before my self-imposed celibacy, guys heads weren't exactly turning.  I never thought it was because of my hair until about 2 years into college. One day, on a whim, I decided to get my hair braided and I went from an afro'd nearly invisible person to street harassment worthy. I had the same face, same sense of style, and I same person, lost in a book somewhere, as usual. 

"What happened?", I thought until my sorority sister cleared it up. "C-Net (her nickname for me) girl, don't get me wrong, you're beautiful, but with these braids, GIRL! YOU BAD!" *pause* 

I understand that she was trying to pay me a compliment, but as I analyzed my experience (or lack thereof) with the opposite sex, it made me feel like my afro wasn't good enough to actually help my physical appearance. It was awful. 

Until I met a few guys, who, although they weren't interested in me other than friendship, LOVED my hair. They literally sat and played in it for hours, discussing how big my afro was, and how soft it felt. I loved it, and ever since then I viewed my afro as an anti bullshit device.I figured that, while growing up, I didn't have to get my heart broken as much, or go through as much drama, because the boys who did those things weren't able to see the beauty in natural hair.  Thus, whatever guys I ended up with, were special.  I used it to my advantage. Whenever I got braids, yes I flirted and gave out my number, and I knew that whoever stuck around after seeing the afro could appreciate me more.

Today natural hair is more popular, so it doesn't work as well, BUT the last time I went to see a guy whom i've been dating with braids, he looked disappointed. He loves my fro. The same goes for those guy friends of mine, if I come around with something other than an afro, they tell me I look pretty, but the slight disappointment in their eyes isn't hidden very well. They love the fro,  almost as much as I do.



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