men are all the same

6 years ago
First of all, I'd like to say that I got an amazing response to the old-fashioned marriage post! Thank you so very much for sharing some of your thoughts on that one.  [Oh, and by the way, I highly recommend you read that post first if you haven't already].  I was actually quite surprised to realize there are so many people that think like I do.  It meant so much to me! 
 
I was thinking the other day about how independent and self-sufficient women have become. 
 
And I love that. 
 
See, I can't even picture a world in which women can't vote, study or work outside the house.  Women whose voices don't count for anything.  Women who don't even have basic control over what happens to their bodies.  And let's not forget life looks exactly like that for millions of women in many countries these days. 
 
I love that I was able to study and choose what I was going to major in.  I love that I can work, that I am the one who decides what to do with my life, even when I don't have the slightest idea of what is best for me.  I love that i can wear whatever i want, even if I look absolutely ridiculous in it.  And that nobody will ever tell me what I can or cannot wear. 
 
See, I grew up with all these things and I can only i.m.a.g.i.n.e what life must be like for millions of women that weren't so lucky as I was to be born an raised in a free country. 
 
Anyway, I read something on Facebook the other day that really caught my eye: some kind of passive-aggressive status update that you know is directed to someone in particular.  This girl was talking about men and how independent women scare the hell out of them.  Oh, you've probably heard stuff like that before: that men are ssscaaaared of independent women; that they are scared of commitment.  
 
Please don't hate me because of what I am about to say, but that's so Sex And The City!  (which, by the way, is the spitting image of most women nowadays).  Oh, they're so beautiful and so successful and so rich and intelligent...  They're feminists.  And independent.  Everybody wants to be like them.
 
But at the end of the day, these women are always looking for a nice and steady relationship, aren't they?  That's why they're so mad at men not wanting to commit.  They never seem to like when the guy doesn't call the next day.  They are not comfortable with the casual thing.  Not anymore. 
 
Because when women do it, it is okay.  But when men do it, it is not. - they're jerks.  And that's pretty unfair.
 
These women don't only want to be independent and self-sufficient financially.  It doesn't seem to be a matter of supporting themselves at all.  They just wish they were self-sufficient in their own relationships as well.  As if they were destined to fulfill some kind of prophecy.  As if they had in themselves alone the power to get revenge for centuries of humiliation women have suffered.  So they go from one extreme to another: from being self conscious to acting as if they were in charge.  But being equal is not the same as believing to be superior, is it? 
 
It's unbelievable how so many women say men are all the same. "Oh, they are such pigs and they don't take me seriously and bla bla bla".. Oh, come on! Really?? If you truly think so, will you please tell me why you keep expecting to find something different each time?
 
I can't stand generalizations. I just can't. 
 
So men are all the same.  Right.  Then you'll go on and on about how all.the.men.you.know. always end up doing the same things, how they always behave the same way, how they're only interested in sex...   (have you met that woman?)  And all of the sudden you're telling me all about your relationships: *you and John*, *you and Jack*, *you and Jim*... and how all of them had the same problems.  Not all men are alike. And it's not that hard to figure out the common denominator in all those dates. 
 
And that would be you.
 
I mean.. come on!  Not all men are alike.  Maybe the ones you go out with are.  Stop fooling yourself already!  Not all men are alike. 

Beware: I'm about to unveil the best kept secret ever just for you, darling.  Are you ready?  Sure?  Here it is: just like you, men are allowed to choose.  And,  just like you get to choose them, they get to choose you.  It is that simple.  Some women are good for one night and some are marriage material.  But you knew that already, didn't you?  (Remember: "Caesar's wife not only has to be virtuous, but seen to be virtuous").  And you may think it's unfair all you want.  But the fact is, at the end of the day, you just hate it that a) when it comes to commitment , men are a lot more picky than you are and b) they don't take you seriously.  So shake it off and move on - and start behaving like a respectful woman should, in case you're looking for a respectful man. If not, then keep doing whatever you're doing to get the same results each time.

 
So sad when I hear women say men are scared of independent women. Wake up, sister!  Men are not scared of independent women.  In fact, men are not at all scared of pretty much a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. that involves women.  
 
virtuous men are proud of their women.  Believe me.  They actually love and admire them for being strong, professional and independent. 
 
I once heard a very wise person say: are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?  Think about it.  So why don't we all start with a deep look in the mirror? 

become the kind of people you'd like to find and you will most certainly find them. 
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