Some time ago my daughter (thank God she doesn't follow this blog, even though she should because it's great) broke up with her college boyfriend, it seemed a nice and clean break up. We were devastated to tell you the least because we had grown very attached to him and had made him part of our family. She told me the famous words, "we will remain friends." Yeah, right! This is where someone should have shouted, "Hold it..hold it!".
If you know of someone that is friends with their ex, give me a kick in the but and comment on your wonderful story because I want to hear it. Yet to fully understand their predicament we need to go a little backwards. So, here it goes:
With their business most of the time elsewhere, we just didn't know that things weren't going as well. I should have hinted something was wrong because his weekends at home had become less and less frequent. By the end of their senior year it seemed the relationship had gone sour. To my and everyone's else surprise it was over, done with, no way looking back as she would tell me later. A couple of months ago we had talked about their plans for after graduation and they seemed to be planning things together.
After their break up, he came over for the weekend to share one of my son's birthdays. Blame it at memories or whatever it was, but it seemed that they were getting back together. He came once more during the Summer before leaving for Atlanta, and I thought well maybe this is what they were needing, some distance. Now they are ready to pick up their relationship where they had left it. I had asked her a couple of times, how were things picking up, but she responded vaguely.
As the dreaded goodbye came knocking at the door, he cried as he hugged us and her as well, but I really didn't see any tears pouring out of her pretty eyes. The goodbyes said and done, she moved on. Packed her bags and left in August, when I asked her about if anything had changed, she answered with a bleak no. If your getting the picture, I think she broke his heart because out of the two he loved the most.
Fast forwarding the saga, we still remain in contact through text messages and emails and he happens to be doing just fine. She as "his friend" wanted to keep in touch with him, but he put his foot down and told her he needed some time. So, they lost contact. She always felt bad about their breakup and would want to know how he was doing through us.
It happens to be that life and weather gave her the opportunity to see how well he was indeed doing when she lost her connecting flight last Monday in Atlanta. Since she was going to be stuck in Atlanta, she would need a place to stay due to the fact that most hotels were booked because of some game. Bingo!!! She remembered she had a "friend" in Atlanta and sent him an emal to ask if he knew where she could stay because all the known hotels were booked. "Don't take me wrong, I was NOT intending to stay with you only if you knew somewhere I could stay?", or so she told me later with her brief description of how a jerk he had been. (Did I forget to tell you about her message to me about not calling him about her problem. To which I can confide in you guys that I would never in my right mind allow myself to do that to him.).
Anyway, my dear boy replied kindly to her email telling her that he would leave his keys for her with his house mate and stay at his girlfriend's house (good for him) so she could stay in his apartment. To which she replied with a don't worry I got this. What did she think, that he as her "good friend" would drop everything he had planned to wine and dine her for one night (like he used to do). That they could go down memory lane and remember all the good they shared while they were in school. Stop!!!!!! It's not going to happen.
Lesson learned, ex boyfriends don't become friends over the night. Specially the ones you hurt!! She learned the hard way through a
disapointment. But the icing on the cake was his response to her last communication, a text that read "May the force be with you.". I'm still trying to figure out his last words, yet I don't get it. What did they mean? She brushed if off as being akward and awful of him to do and say that to her. I can still remember her tone as she told me all about it and I couldn't help laughing as I thought that at the end it's all about getting the score even.
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