If someone were to ask me would I date a married man, I’d have to say “Absolutely not!!” However I have dated one in the past and while a married man is a married man, I felt there was justification to my situation.
Let’s start from the beginning…our daughter had just turned one year old when I found out that he was cheating on me. He swore up and down how he was sorry and he would never do it again, that it was a mistake, he loved me and all the other BS men feed you when they have backed themselves into a corner. At the time, I was young, naïve and wanted to believe that this was a mistake and that he would never do this again. For almost an entire year, our relationship continued without incident. Little did I know, that his relationship with this other broad had continued as well.
Fast-forward to about a year after the cheating scandal, I come home one day to a legal size manila envelope addressed to me with no return address. I open it up and inside are letters clipped from newspapers and magazines telling me that my “boyfriend” is getting married and that I need to get over what I thought I had with him. Whoever put together this stalker type letter even went so far as to cut out a wedding dress, a bride and a groom and paste in on the letter. I, being the naïve person that I was at the time confronted my boyfriend, with the letter in hand. Initially he denied it and asked me to give him the letter, not thinking at the time, I did. After much back and forth, he broke down and admitted that he was getting married, to the broad he had cheated on me with. To say I was devastated is a complete understatement!!!
I stopped seeing immediately, more so because I refused to have anything to do with him rather than because he felt he couldn’t see me anymore because he was about to get married. Time past and eventually they get married. About 6 months into their marriage he starts asking to spend time with me. Initially, I refused because hey, I was young, single and on the prowl again. He took care of our daughter in all the ways he should have so I eventually got over the devastation and kept it moving. Again, being the young, naïve person I was then, eventually I was weighed down by the “extra” money, the gifts and the flowers that I started receiving from him and in my mind, he was mine first, so why not? It was at that point that I did what I thought I would never do, I started dating a married man. I justified it with the notion that ‘ol girl knew about me and chose to get with him anyway and what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Eventually, his wife found out that we were seeing each other and she called and stalked and threatened me the entire time. I can honestly say that I felt no kind of way about it. She got what she deserved. In my mind, he was married but so what he cheated on me to marry her. I’m ashamed to admit that this foolish relationship went on for quite a while, longer that I want to admit it did.
Now that I am older and wiser, I have come to the conclusion that despite the circumstances surrounding my dating a married man, I was dead wrong for so many reasons. Back then I could not see that he was playing both me and his wife and because she and I were so caught up one one-upping the other, we failed to hold him accountable for his actions.
Since that debacle, I have never entertained a married man again. I’m simply not interested in any man who has made this commitment before God and chooses to step outside of it when it is convenient for him.
~The Married Man Chronicles is featured every Friday on Blushblog
Would you like to be a guest blogger for The Married Man Chronicles? Maybe you've accidentally dated a married man that lied, chose to date a married man, consistently date married men, or maybe you're a married man who still dates women outside of your marriage. If any of these apply and you'd like to share, email us at MMC@blushblog.com. You can choose to use your real name or you can remain anonymous. Also, if you unknowingly dated a married man, let us know what you chose to do once you found out. If you choose to, let us know your angle.
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