Marriage...The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

6 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

My Wedding

My husband and I were married in a beautiful yet very intimate setting in July 2008 by a Justice of the Peace.  Some would say that we eloped because our wedding was so small (there were a grand total of 5 guests plus us and the JP).  I will never for as long as I live forget that day as it was one of the happiest days of my life (second only to the birth of my son).   I am very blessed to have a wonderful, understanding, supportive, protective husband.  I truly am the luckiest wife in the world.

With that said, I will admit that my marriage, as good as it is, has had its share of ups and downs.  Fortunately there have been more ups than downs during my 3.3 years as a Mrs.  I attribute the good fortune of having a good marriage to the following mantras of 'I'd rather be happy than right' and 'pick your battles'.  I believe that in every marriage, my own included, that there are gives and takes aka compromise.  If one is unwilling to bend, to compromise then one's marriage will be rigid and unfulfilled. 

Likewise, I believe that marriage is forever and should be treated as such.  One only gets married once and should stay married through thick and thin unless there is abuse, infidelity or something else really really wrong in the marriage.  Too many people are getting married these days and then getting divorced in a blink of an eye for no reason at all.  These marriages are not given the chance to bloom and blossom.  These marriages are not given a fighting chance as people are throwing in the towel at the first major fight.  Kim K's marriage of 72 days comes to mind as an example of one such marriage.  People need to be reminded that the first year or so of marriage are the hardest because no matter if you were shacking up before hand, marriage takes getting used to in more ways than one. 

Finally, marriage takes work.  If you are not willing to work on a marriage every single day then do not get married.  It does not take a lot of earth shattering things to make a marriage work.  It is as simple as telling your spouse that you love them or by doing something to make your spouse feel that they are the most important person in your life on a daily basis.  It is important to make sure that once the children go to bed that the rest of the evening becomes husband-wife time where you spend the time focusing on your spouse and your marriage.  Likewise, it is important to go out on dates with your spouse WITHOUT the children on a regular basis .  This helps one to reconnect with their spouse on a level that one cannot do around the children.

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