Marriage vs Committment

6 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

One thing I will never understand is women's obsession with marriage. Well that's not entirely true - I mean, I certainly think about my future wedding. But what I want most in my wedding, is the man I can spend the rest of my life with. The details are really irrelevant. 

The average age of a person's first divorce is 30. The average first (and second) marriage lasts 7 years. Yet, despite these disappointing statistics, women are still putting a wedding ahead of love. Take Jennifer Aniston in "He's Just Not That Into You" - she breaks it off with Ben Affleck after 7 years because he never wants to get married, or Phoebe fromFriends, when she breaks up wtih Mike for the same reason. Even Monica almost broke up with Chandler when she thought he would never marry her (And if you know all those endings, then I know what you're thinking, so...) My ex boyfriend had an ex who pressured him for marriage and when he never caved, she left him after 5 years and married someone else. 

When was the last time you heard about a man leaving his girlfriend because she doesn't want to get married? Either in real life or otherwise? Why are women still putting such a high priority on a wedding? On what amounts to a piece of paper stating a lifelong commitment, followed by a big expensive party? 

Why can't people see the logical fallacy involved in leaving the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, so you can have a wedding? Women are literally willing to lose the love of their life in favor of materialism! 

The most important aspect of a wedding is the love between the bride and groom. And that love will be there with or without a wedding. More than half of all marriages end in divorce, and yet, still, women are putting the pressure on themselves, and on their SO's to partake in an expensive probably-not-once-in-a-lifetime event. 

Where does this start? The pressure to get married? It's not even the pressure to meet the "prince charming;" it's the actual white dress vows ring cake affair that we're pressured to have. 

I'll be more than happy to settle for that prince charming (and a nice diamond ring). And if I had to choose between the man I want to spend the rest of my life with or that ring, I'd undoubtedly choose the man. Because I'd want the same from him.

What are we saying to the man we love when we tell them a wedding is more important than them? Is this the most pressing issue facing women today? Not by a longshot, but I think it's important for everyone to focus on the truly essential things in life. 

And what's more important than love?

If there's anything, it sure as hell isn't a wedding.

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