Mama Jeklyll & Mama Hyde

4 years ago
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Just writing this post makes me feel unloyal to the core. That's how mixed up I am right now.

Now, now I'm not about to write about infedility or any extramarital affair for sure.  However, I certainly feel unloyal about writing about my nefarious mother in law after almost three decades married to her first born. 


Talk about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for crying out loud.  This lady has serious issues with passive aggressiveness.  It's like she drinks Dr. Jekyll's potion when she says,

-Okay sweetheart, yes yes, whenever you can.  

Yeah right, when my husband doesn't comply pretty quickly she just pressures here or there with an unintentional comment about how things need to be done playing Mama Hyde pretty well. 

Just a couple of months ago, I was fine with her mainly because my father in law kept her busy.  He passed during January and left a mess behind so to speak. 

I loved him with all my heart, and would have preferred dealing with him than her a gazillion times. 

It's just that to be honest to the truth, it bothers the hell out of me to have to share my husband with another women, nevermind it's his mom.  It sounds unreasonable and mean but it's how I feel.   Maybe I wouldn't mind if she hadn't had this dual personna going on.    

This has been a bit of a burden for me because I have two grown young men and I would feel dreadful if any lady tried to pull us apart, but it's not like they need to call me early in the morning, midmorning, or any time in between.  You know, I wouldn't like that too much either.  I'm not that sort of a mom, I'm more into if your fine, it's fine.  

Usually I know if something goes wrong they'll know where to find me.

If not it's fine.

On the other hand, my dear mother in law (sarcasm) is not that sort of a mom.  She's more like the "begger mom" meaning that she really doesn't know for sure what's going on in her children's lives, so let's say if they would face a problem or challenge in life she would probably need them to beg for help.  

Her help goes as far as giving them food.  

Not in a good way, but in like,

"I can't refuse mom's cooking way."

Just to create a mental picture here, so you my dear readers can get a glimpse of Mama Jeklyll &  Mama Hyde, she told my husband's younger brother this week, when he asked her to take care of his 10 year old while he went to a court hearing (he's a police officer) that she couldn't because she was going to the doctor that day and my husband was taking her.   Which was by the way false. 

When I asked my husband, if his mom was in a medical appointment he answered,

-NO.  Why?

-Well because she told my brother in law's wife that she was and that you were taking her. 

To which he just said, 

-I don't think she said that. 

Wow!!!!! After all these years I felt stunned that he would be played like that by his mom. 

What is wrong with this lady?

After everything is said and done, I'm not even sure where I stand in all this.  It gets on my nerve and I don't know how to handle all these feelings.  I can't push them under the carpet as if they weren't there because that will probably make it worse, but I can't seem to find a solution to them either. 

She's demanding in a demure way, saying,

"Lonliness is killing me."

For Pete's sake she sounds like a damsel in distress, all she really needs to do is simple, 

"Get a life!!!"  

Get yourself out there, find a voice, do something with yourself and just give us a break. She's still young and she's got a lot going for her. 

Probably Mama Jekyll will not do anything of the sort, but I sure wish she did.  

I feel sorry for my husband in a sense, he knows I don't approve of anything that has to do with his mom, and he's having a hard time coping with it.   Nonetheless, I will not be a pushover with this situation. 

Even if it comes with a price.

So you see my dear friends, when you think you have your life figured out after so many years married, you get to feel young all over again with a mother in law that resembles the very same one you had at the beginning of your married life.  Can anybody handle this kind of pressure when your almost fify?  I certainly would like the answer to that one. 



We went out to dinner to be able to concentrate only on each other without all the noise we have sometimes at home.  Our phones tucked away, and had an honest conversation of where we were and where we were going to.  I voiced all my concerns and made peace with it all.  People handle their grief differently and I was able to see that I was actually taking the pain of losing  my father in law, who was a father for me, on her.  

Today almost nine months after I can probably say that everything is fine.  We've fallen into a routine and each one of us knows our boundaries.  Our love is still strong and well nourished.  We are facing each day as it comes, never overlooking how any of us can feel.  So, my dear mother in law is back to Mrs.  Hyde and hasn't changed into Dr. Jeylkll for a while, hopefully it will stay that way because we threw away the potion. 






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