Love is magical.
And the world knows it.
Poets, philosophers, writers, cinematographers, and everyday people, are all in the business of capturing it.
But love… really only finds itself complete in marriage.
The world doesn’t really affirm that though, does it? And certainly, we are not in passionate pursuit of it.
And that is a tragedy.
But it’s true.
Because marriage is the completest form of love, it is also the most magical.
There are times, being a married person, when you are able to feel completely, and totally unimpaired….which in a broken world such as this one… is really something.
To be able to know, and be known by a person, to be vulnerable and honest and exposed is something you can really only experience when you have given yourself over in vow not only to your spouse, but to God.
This feeling of oneness, this feeling of completion, of wholeness… is a gift from God. We really can’t even understand the fullness of this mysterious blessing we call marriage- as it is created by God and ordained by God to represent something fuller- something larger than our understanding even allows.
By this, of course, I mean Christ and the church.(Ephesians 5:22-32) We can only scratch the surface of this great mystery.
So the best we can do with marriage is adore it, pursue it, obtain it, protect it, and call it magic.
Have you ever seen the show Once Upon a Time?
I confess, I’m hooked.
It is all about the magic. Magic, and fairy tales, and love, and adventure… Seriously, it is the soft and billowy cloud that this dreamer loves to ride upon…
But anyway, the villain in this show, Rumpelstiltskin, practices magic.
And often when he does this fairy tale sorcery, he says, “Be careful, deary… magic always comes with a price.”
And oh how true this is…
I got to thinking about this because my husband and I are having a couple of engage-ees over tomorrow night to talk about marriage.
So I got to thinking… what wisdom do I possibly have to share after 7 years of practicing this magic?
Well, first of all, I should affirm that it is magical.
Marriage so often gets a bad rap- even among Christians. But it really is the climactic chapter in most of our life-stories.
Life doesn’t end after you get married. I don’t know how many people told me that lie at 18. There isn’t any chapter of life that you miss out on as a result of getting married. It is not the end of all your other relationships. It is not the end of your career, or education, or freedom. The truth is, everything is better once your married.
Your bad days are made better, because at the end of it, you have someone to hold you and love you and tell you it’s all going to be okay.
Your good days are better, because the smiling face of the one you love is next to you. His cup runneth over as well.
The trials in your life are about the same, but you’re now fighting these battles together.
And as for the rest of the world? Well, it was you against them. Now it’s them against us.
And there are times in the life of this married woman, when I can’t help the tears that result from the overflowing of my heart.
Oh, can my life be so good? It can and it is!
Only a Lord who loves me dearly, could be glorified in blessing me so!
Marriage is good.
These are the things that they need to hear first. They need to hear it, from a married person…that marriage is magical.
And it is worth fighting for, and dying for.
Staring helplessly into the eyes of my newlywed spouse, and promising him that I’ll love him forever, and hearing him promise the same to me was one of the best moments of my life. I’d fight to the death to preserve that single moment, which pales in comparison to the rest of our lives together.
That is how special this thing is.
Marriage is the beginning of everything in life been bigger, and better, and more complete. It is the end of you being half of a whole.
But here comes Rumpestiltskin…”Magic always comes with a price!”
Let’s be honest here… yes, it does.
You need to expect your marriage to be magical.
But you also need to expect to pay in blood for this magic.
There is a reason why Paul tell us it is better not to marry.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6: 32-34, ”I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.”
The married man is anxious. All the time!
Wanna know why, ladies?
Cause we make him that way!
He’s always worried about pleasing his wife, cause we’re always telling him that we’re not pleased!
It’s true. He would worry anyway though, even if you weren’t naggin him…because he loves you. And his desire is to see you happy. This is the burden of marriage. You no longer have yourself to worry about, but also another.
I think this is why unbelieving marriages so often fail- because he or she is only worried about him/her self. And a selfish marriage is an unhappy one. And a marriage without an understanding of vows, is a marriage bound by nothing.
Marriage is hard!
It is the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever done. Certainly, it is the hardest thing I’ve never quit.
And I think, if you don’t know that going in, you’re in for a lot of trouble.
You better suit up like you are going to war… cause you are- hopefully, not war with each other, but with sin.
I’m convinced that the reason God calls us to marriage is so that He may sanctify us.
What better way of conforming us, of shaping and molding us, than to put us together??
Have you ever noticed how smooth a river rock is? They get that way by being rubbed, and grated against other rocks.
The more contact they have, the more smooth and perfect they become.
Such is the case with us.
And the Lord must have really, really wanted to refine Brandon and I cause we both have some jagged, rough, piercing edges.
Believe me when I say it hurts when we collide.
Never has anything in my life made me so crazy as being married to a sinful man.
I have touched the outer edge of sanity. I have said things that would make a church lady blush. I’ve lashed out in anger and desperation.
I’ve cried out to God for mercy, not believing my heart could take any more. These are the lows of marriage.
These are the lows of two sinners sharing a life together.
You pay for this life- you pay to be whole, and you do it by laying down your own life.
The Bible is the greatest book of ironies, isn’t it?
It would make sense that marriage would be so… look at the story of our salvation!
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” ( 2 Cor 5:21)
So marriage makes sense then, doesn’t it?
Since we are also commanded,
“Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:12-13)
And who is a greater friend in this world, than the person with whom you share every inch of your life?
And dear friends, especially my single friends, you should know… it is worth it.
This is what I plan to tell them… if they ask.
-To be ready for marriage, you had better be prepared to lay down your own life.
- But you also better be prepared for the greatest magic you’ve ever know.
Cause really, Fairy dust ain’t got nothin on love.