Let's Talk About Sex After Thirty Years

3 years ago

First thing first, I've been in a long lasting comitted relationship for thirty years.  

That said, let's move forward to the fact that I've only had sex with that same guy.  No point of comparison for me,  which makes me no guru on this subject whatsoever.  However,  if you can take into account that I have multiple orgasms with my one and only things aren't too bad, don't you think?

These points are my disclosure notice, for all of you out there that want to get under my skin after reading this post.  

I'm shy talking about sex, so don't even imagine how it feels to write about it.  I've begun writing this post more than three times at least.  Each time erasing and re-writing it all over again.  

Don't get me wrong I am a very sensual woman, but I don't like to talk about it with anybody who isn't my husband. 

via morgueFile

So, why in Earth am I putting myself out there???

Two words for you missy, share and connect.  

During the past year or so I've come across so many blogs that could have been written by me.  They described situations that are part of my day to day life and most importantly they have helped me incredibly. 

My husband always marvels on the fact of how after thirty years we feel so strongly for each other.  He rakes his wits as to, how we still can rock our boat so hard that it leaves us broken and united at the same time.  

How our intensity and passion has never worn out, even through the toughest of times. 

We've made love under many circumstances and we've had sex under so many more. 

Sorry to break it to you, but making love isn't sex and sex isn't making love. 

For instance,  recently we suffered a tremendous loss.  He lost his father to cancer after a two year struggle.  After attending the viewing and burial we made love. It wasn't something we planned, holding ourselves in  an embrace as old as time itself, where we mourned together and even if it sounds strange, we found peace as we experienced the blissful state of release.   Then we slept the rest of the afternoon. 

On the other hand, sex is about satisfying a need you may feel to be with someone and just lust over him or her and be saciated without thinking of anyone's needs except your own. 

Anyhow, these little things work for us, so hopefully they can work for anyone who is willing as well. 

Honesty.  We talk things honestly and openly, are likes as well as our dislikes.  We both need to be comfortable, but how can we be so if we're not open about it.  To tell you the truth, some things that I thought I would have not liked and after talking about them, I've tried them and I've enjoyed them tremendously. 

Even if we share many things we remain different in so many others. There is no mystery if you know every crack and nook of your partner.  Keep some things to yourself, be your own woman.  Loving a man doesn't have to make you an open book.  Don't  tell them but, it makes you alluring.

Dare.  Over time I've surprised my husband doing the unexpected, but to be honest it's been a response to his own boldness.  When he tries a stunt on me, after my initial shock I try it and if not I'll tell him and I'll let him know when I'm ready to explore new possibilities.  

Use his eyes as your mirror.  I struggle with a disability and through the years I've learned that no matter my impairment should be I look desirable in his eyes.  If my eyes were closed I would have missed on that.  Open your eyes and look deeply into his, it's not about how you see yourself its about how he sees you.  Don't let your thoughts come into the equation reminding you of how chubby or skinny you are.  It's about knowing that there is no wrong in the way you look and there is so much right in the way you feel.  So, overcome your insecurities and never have sex or make love in the dark.  

One last thing,  I totally forgot never, but never settle for less than you deserve.  Please, don't do that to yourself or allow anyone to do it to you either. 

Well my friends,  these are some of my share and connect insights, and above anything else enjoy yourselfs because ultimately that's what life is all about.  

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