We live in a small town. My husband calls it the 'boonies', to which I take offense because technically we only live about 20 miles away from Nashville. However, it is true that 5 minutes from our house, you're bound to see hills and cows grazing, making you want to burst into song a la Julie Andrews. I actually like it. I like that at night, the low light pollution gives me a good view of the star-filled skies. And in the mornings, I hear the cries of crows above me.
Ah, those crows. Actually, I'm still a bit ambivalent about them. When I hear crows, in my mind it's still a toss up between images of Alfred Hitchcock, or that romantic scene from 'How To Make An American Quilt
' where a woman was led to the love of her life courtesy of this black bird.
Most often than not, the romantic image wins. Of course it does. After all, this is me we're talking about here. Now this got me thinking. (And yes, I do think of this every time I see and hear the crows hovering). Wouldn't it be great if indeed there was some universal sign that could lead everyone to the love of their life? It needs to be something unmistakeable, something you can't miss. Otherwise we'd all just spend our days being paranoid about missing the sign and end up doing nothing but tune out everything else in our lives just to ensure we'd spot what's ours to have.
The funny thing is, most of us do this or have done that at some point in our lives, that paranoia-filled existence of wondering whether 'he/she' is out there; whether or not the one in front of us is the one 'meant to be', the shoe that fits perfectly. There is no crow to watch out for, no magical spotlight that identifies, and certainly no strong, literal magnetic pull that would draw the two of you inexplicably together no matter how geographically far apart you are. (And by the way, I think that would be amazing!)
No, all we have are our limited senses and an immeasurable capacity for risk-taking. The truth is, inasmuch as we love guarantees and would prefer success over failure, we are also beings who prefer to believe in personal responsibility and freedom of choice. You can't freely choose and still be guaranteed of success every single time. It just doesn't work that way. If it were that simple, I suspect that love or falling in love won't be too enticing anymore, won't mean as much as it does, and definitely won't feel as thrilling as it does. Part of the reason why love has so much value is because it requires so much of us. It calls for so much faith, and a hell of a lot of courage. It's not for the faint-hearted, and definitely not for those afraid of failure AND pain. It's all just part of the package, even if you do end up with the shoe that fits perfectly.
I think we're better off thinking of it this way. Don't search for THE crow. Instead, go ahead and follow any crow. After all, regardless of where that crow leads you, love and relationships will always be messy. A bird's a bird, and love is love. You just have to really want it badly to survive it because whether you like it or not, at some point, it's bound to crap on you. It's just the nature of things.