It's not that I can't be in a relationship, I am just too lazy ;)

8 years ago

It's the new excuse for the masses...I could be in a relationship but I am just too lazy.

Hey it works for everything else...why not in relation to men? I have honestly started to consider the possibility that maybe I am just too lazy to be in a relationship. When you begin the whole....dating situation again...it's stressful...at least it is for me. I make dates that I constantly break; I usually can tell whether I am genuinely interested in a guy right off the bat...if I am not, why waste his time? I don't like uncomfortable situations, dating included, why bother dating? Dates are like interviews...they are no fun. And on top of that why should I bother?

Say I go on a date with a guy I am not crazy about with immediately, chances are we will go out for a month or maybe even a couple months...until I realize he isn't so charming or he has herpes. Why date when I pretty much have it MADE single? When I am single, I can hog the bed, no one pestering me to have sex with them in the middle of the night...no one pestering me to sleep naked even though it makes me roasting hot. If that isn't enough, then Ill just throw sex out on the table. Most guys I have met barely know how to kiss...if they can't kiss...chances are they can't give a girl a satisfactory orgasm. I mean really now, Im thinking that 99% of guys have kissed more girls than they have fucked (excuse my french) if they can't do it with their mouth, their dick can't do it either.

My vibrator is a satisfactory 7.5 inches, yeah it's blue but it never disappoints. Plastic in comparision to flesh is nothing but I love that it lasts as long as I do...it's the only time I can be completely selfish. If I want to masturbate, I can do it without deodorant making the most obscene noises ever, and no one is going to comment. When I have sex, I make sure I smell like a flower and I am the epitome of sexy. What's the point in being sexy when the event only lasts...what like 5 minutes? If we're lucky? Sorry but my vibrator it can go all night...and if it dies...I pop in more batteries. I don't have to worry about it coming, the mess, having to keep going after Ive come. If I want to masturbate in the middle of the night, it is my prerogative but my vibrator doesn't come home at 3 o'clock in the morning smelling of liquor while poking me in the back with it's hard on, maybe yours does...but mine doesnt.

I love the people I am with, once I am with them but the whole charade is sooo tiring. It's too much work to get to know someone, try to trust them, make a whole relationship off this basis of mutual attraction. The only motivation behind the constant texts or messages that two people send each other in the courtship phase is fear. We are constantly afraid the other person won't like us or will lose interest etc etc.

Why should I bother? I can sit at home, on my ass eating whatever I want with sole possession of the remote control. Being in a relationship is always about the other person's happiness...which I would be fine with except usually whoever I am with is selfish not selfless.

 

In a nutshell...Im too lazy for this drama.

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