I'm a Shallow, Single Black Female, By Choice!

6 years ago

I went out with those too short, too fat, poor guys.  What is the point? They are just as self centered and insensitive as the cute ones.” -Miranda Hobbs

On the first episode of Sex and the City Miranda said something that spoke to the shallow depths of my heart.  If you haven’t seen the episode here you go.  A man is complaining about how women in their mid thirties don’t want to settle.  Miranda basically gives this as the rebuttal. 

I agree with this quote because it is true.  If you are confused, listen up.  What is the point of lowering your standards?  What is the point of going out with some lame guy, if they are going to have the same baggage as a hot guy? I will be the first to admit that I have a type.  I have a very specific type that most guys do not fall into.   Not every guy I’m attracted to is attractive to my friends, but that is why it is my type.  

Apologies, I digress…  Men do not seem to understand that they are for the most part uniform.  (Women don’t get it either)  One of my friends is gorgeous.  She will always be gorgeous.  The man she will probably marry will be a goblin.  I say this with love. In my opinion, every guy she has been with has been haggard.  I love her, but she knows how I feel about her choice in men. 

She started dating another one of these creatures and guess what? He cheats on her.  This guy is a full on creature from the black lagoon and he cheats on HER? Blaspheme!? In my mind I’m thinking, how is this possible? I wish I could show you her picture.  If you saw a picture of her you would experience my horror first hand. 

(…And this is not one of those times that a girl is saying her friend is beautiful just because they are friends.  Trust me she is beautiful. No Grenades!!)

I know why this happened.

I think females think that we are doing the ugly guy a favor by showing him attention.  We aren’t.  Real talk, all we are doing is lowering our standards and forgetting our self worth. 

    ABC News reported, “Forty-two percent of U.S. black women have never been married, double the number of white women who’ve never tied the knot.”

I’m suggesting that maybe they are single by choice.  Let’s cut the “Oh  woe is me.  Nobody wants me because I’m a single black female”  I know this isn’t exactly a new concept, but it is true. My mother got married for the first time at age 45. My mother is great.  She is college educated she had a secure job and my mother is beautiful.  My mother is a catch.  She recently admitted to me that she choose to be single the greater part of her thirties, because the greater part of her twenties was spent in a relationship.  I don’t represent every SBF and my mother doesn’t represent every SBF.  All I know is that I am shallow, and when a quality gentelman comes around I will choose to not be single.

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