If you Love me, Put it on Facebook ??

3 years ago

When me and my husband first got together, Facebook was a very important thing in my life. I had fallen to the craze and found myself on it constantly (truth be told, that is how I found out who my husband was, and added him as a friend because he was cute lol). Throughout our relationship, we had some pretty good times and our share of bad; however, one thing lingered in me that I longed for him to do: change the oh-so-common relationship status on Facebook.

When I approached him about the subject, he gave me a typical male response, which for lack of better words, was no. I felt a number of feelings after that conversation and really never brought it up to him again. I couldn't stop wondering why he did not want to change his status for me. Did he want to keep me a secret? Was he seeing someone else while he was seeing me? Did he not like me enough to let the world know we were dating? I felt rejected, angry, but most of all unworthy of the title.

Looking back on that, I wonder, what made me feel so unworthy about how people saw us on social media? I realized that after asking my husband why he did not want to change his relationship status on Facebook it made sense to me. He did not want people in his business. He told me that the people who mattered to him knew about us, and that is all that mattered to him. He is a very discreet man, and after learning more about him, I realized that there were a lot of things he did not showcase on Facebook. I then learned, that everything and everyone does not need to know how much he loves me.

So many times, we get caught up in the idea of showcasing our love to the world. As a woman, I understand the need for us to want to tell the entire world that we are in love, and who we are in love with. The problem with this is, we want our man to join in our social media announcement; and once we find out that he is not willing to express the same love on Facebook or Twitter, or any other social media outlet, we feel slighted and even a sense of rejection. One thing to remember and one thing I learned is: NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS!

Just because your S\O is not willing to shout his love to the mountain top (aka change his relationship status on Facebook) does not mean that he does not love you. It could mean 1 of 2 things for a man: 1. He does not want people in his business (which is common for men on social media) or 2. He just simply is not an avid user of Facebook. I learned in my relationship that my man exhibited both of these traits. Once I figured out how he operated, it became less and less of a big deal that my relationship status still read "single" until we got engaged. The fact that my relationship status was never changed until that moment, had no longer bothered me because my husband was right; it does not matter who knows who I'm with and who I'm not with. The only thing that mattered was what we knew and what the people important to us knew.

So I say to anyone who has found love and is in the predicament of trying to determine how your man feels based off what he says on his Facebook status. Some things are best kept sacred. Just because your love is not shown through your Facebook status, does not mean that the love is not felt. Truth be told, these days it is better that not everyone be in your business on Facebook anyway, but that's a different topic for a different day. :)

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