I can honestly say that I have been on some of the worst dates in the history of the world. And, of course, I totally checked the history of the world before I made that claim to fame. Today, I’m going to share one of my more treasured memories with you. You may want to sit down for this one. Scratch that. Grab your laptop, find a friggin’ bed and lay down. Yeah, it’s that bad.
A few years ago, I met a really nice guy (ha!) named Paul that went to my college. He had seen a picture of me on Facebook and sent me a message. We exchanged phone numbers, and started talking and texting fairly regularly. One day, we decided to meet in the quad and, luckily, hit it off. I wasn’t overly impressed with his looks, but he was sweet to me, and smart, and tall. I decided that I had to stop being so shallow (remember that ironic comment later on), and that these qualities trumped being completely gorgeous. So when Paul asked me to get sushi with him that Friday night, I gladly accepted.
It was a nice date; nothing amazing, but nice. We were talking, eating, laughing. I was really having a nice time. That’s, of course, when the night took a nasty turn. We stumbled across the topic of pretty girls. I looked at him and asked, “When you first saw me on Facebook, did you think I was pretty?”
Now, maybe I should point out that I asked the question quickly, expecting an “Of course,” and planned to move on to say, “If you didn’t think I was pretty, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.” However, I never got to say that because I didn’t realize that I was talking to THE DUMBEST MAN ON EARTH. This guy, this person, had the audacity to say, “Umm I wouldn’t say you were ‘pretty’…definitely cute though.”
I felt all the air leave my body. As I mopped the blood off of the table from my jaw hitting it so hard, I could do nothing but stare at him in disbelief. I sat there stunned, baffled, that anyone would ever say something like that to me. That anyone could.
Even with my emotions ranging from confusion to rage to devastation, I gave this fool leeway to redeem himself. Staring at him, eyes wide, I quietly asked, “Am I mishearing you?”
Paul replied, “Okay, Jennifer Love Hewitt is cute; hmm, who’s really pretty?”
He then proceeded to look to me for an answer! Nostrils flaring, I looked down at the table, and somehow managed to mutter, “Just - end - it - there.”
Maybe this turned on some sort of light bulb for him because he said, “Okay, I’m assuming you’re probably fuming right now…”
Gee dumbass, what was the hint – was it the SMOKE coming out of my ears?
Image: Matthew via Flickr
My next move was totally something out of a movie. Bitchy, but completely warranted. I put my jacket on, zipped it up, pushed my untouched fried ice cream away (what a sin), and yelled, “CHECK!” I’m surprised I even had the boldness to do something like that, you know, being so atrociously ugly and all.
After his last statement, “I thought you don’t like silence” was met with an icey stare, the two of us just sat and stared at each other for three whole minutes while we waited for the waitress to come.
He shrugged. “Well, at least now I know that I can’t be honest with you and you don’t want the truth. I mean, really, do you want me to call you pretty just like all the other guys – just to get you into bed?”
I felt like I had been sucker-punched. Again. It was as if I was already lying on the floor of the wrestling ring, waiting for the referee to say I had lost (in this case, some dignity) and this jerk came and body-slammed me. There I was, dumbfounded once again.
Needless to say, I refuted his horribly rude and untrue remark, called him an asshole, and never spoke to that creep again. I decided then and there that my time was better spent with guys who actually had manners – and good eyesight.
Have you ever had a guy or girl crush not only your first date or relationship, but your self-esteem, too? What did you say to that person? How did you recover?
Keep on keepin' on,
*Read more at http://jenandmen.com/
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