It was the summer of 2009.
I was a 21-year-old college student who’d just returned home from an amazing 6 months spent studying abroad in South Africa.
I’d taught dance to school children at a local township; Spent 4 days in silent meditation on a Buddhist retreat; Sipped a few too many glasses of vino with my gaggle of new friends; and engaged in an assortment of brief romances that included: an Afrikaans beach bum, a singing/song-writing Jack Johnson look alike, a saxophone-playing Texan, and an elusive Nietzsche-reading hipster.
Though I’d had an amazing + soul enlivening experience, I craved something more when it came to my love life. It had been 3 years since I’d had a real boyfriend and I ached for a sense of meaningful connection. I didn’t want another fling. I wanted to fall in love and be loved deeply in return.
Around this time I was also getting more in touch with my spirituality and reading countless self-help books. One day as I browsed through my mom’s library I stumbled across a book that really caught my eye. It was called The Soul Mate Secret.
The author, Arielle Ford, claimed that you could use The Law of Attraction (basically the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive thoughts you can bring about positive results) to manifest an ideal romantic partner. Hesitant yet hopeful, I decided to try out her exercises and as she put it, prepare myself on all levels for love. They included:
1) Clearing out the past:
-I wrote a letter expressing my hurt feelings towards an ex and wrote one back to me from his perspective. Then I burned both letters.
-I cleaned out my room, tossing anything that reminded me of past loves.
2) Getting reallllly specific about what I wanted in my next relationship and what I had to offer that person:
-I made a list of the 10 qualities I most desired in a partner and a 2nd list of my own most appealing traits. I also wrote down my non-negotiables or characteristics I absolutely did not want in a romantic partner.
3) Visualizing what I wanted and acting as if it was already happening
-I listened to a guided meditation that urged me to feel the feelings of love and joy that I would experience once my new man entered my life.
-I sent myself a text message from my future boyfriend, telling me how much he loved me and how glad he was that we’d met.
-And lastly, I created a collage using magazine clippings that represented what I wanted in my next relationship. It included a couple holding hands on a beach and words like “sexy”, “exotic”, and “treats me like a princess”. I put the collage under my bed.
Then I returned to school and pretty much forgot about all of it.
I went about my life, taking classes, attending sorority parties, binge watching Greys Anatomy with my roommates, ect.
For Fall Break, I decided to stay on campus to catch up on work and relax. That weekend I ventured into to a pretty cleared out gym to get in a workout. Not expecting to see anyone I knew, I wore no make up, some baggy old sweat pants and my hair pulled back in a bun.
10 minutes into my routine a guy hopped onto the elliptical next to me and asked me what music I was listening to. His name was Manik. He had an appealing energy and was definitely attractive, but I immediately dismissed him because of the Ed Hardy T shirt he was wearing and the way he gelled his hair (Hey, I was 21 and superficial). Undeterred by my disinterest, however, Manik continued to chat me up and somehow convinced me into giving him my phone number.
Texting turned into phone calls, which turned into actual dates. Even though I loved the way talking to him soothed my nerves and how adored he made me feel, I still resisted. He was just soooo not my usual type. But despite my initial hesitation, pretty soon we became an item.
When I went home for winter break that December, I found the collage I had made the summer before. It may sound silly, but at that moment it suddenly clicked: Manik was the guy I had manifested. As I held the collage I literally felt chills. It was eerie how much our relationship resembled what was in front of me.
That Valentines day, I gave Manik the collage as a gift and he was floored. He literally didn’t believe that I’d made it before ever meeting him.
Long story short we dated for a year but ultimately parted ways after he moved back to India and I went to DC post-graduation. It was a wonderful experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
And while the relationship didn’t last forever, the lessons I learned certainly will:
First, I realized that I have the power to manifest love (or anything else I want) into being in my own life. Since that little experiment, I have used the exercises above and countless others to manifest a job, a cute apartment, financing for my life coach training program, my business, two other amazing boyfriends, a trip to Costa Rica, and even a diamond and sapphire tennis bracelet (pretty rad, right?)
Second, I learned that while you can essentially order whatever you desire from the universal buffet, it might not come in the exact flavor you imagined. Self-help guru Gabrielle Bernstein nails it when she advises that you focus on the picture of what you want rather than the frame it comes in. In the case of Manik, the picture was how he made me feel and our chemistry together. The frame was the Ed-Hardy T-Shirts and gelled hair (which, if I’m being honest, still make me cringe when I think about them).
Since that experience and applying these principles into my own life, I’ve had countless friends ask me, “Rebecca, what is your secret? How do you keeping having these amazing relationships with guys that adore you?” Or “You seem so confident. I wish I could go after what I want and put myself out there the way you do.”
Well guess what, you can! And I want to help you.
I’ve used The Law of Attraction to manifest what I want in all areas of my life and I know how it works. But I also know that it’s not something that’s easily done alone. If I had known years ago what I know now about manifesting, I could have saved so much time, pain, frustration and heartbreak.
I want to share EVERYTHING I’ve learned from own personal experiences, reading countless self-help books, training as a life coach, and working with clients to help YOU create a life (and love life!) that feels truly fabulous to you.
To take the first step towards manifesting passionate romance, meaningful work, soul-enlivening friendships, and anything else you desire, shoot me an email at Rebecca@thepursuitoffabulous.com. We’ll set up your FREE 1 on 1 breakthrough coaching session, and the rest, as they say, is history.