Lets talk about sex.
Regaining and maintaining your sex life after having kids can be trying at times, but is extremely important for you and your partner. We, as humans, require intimacy on so many levels, and physical intimacy is right there at the top. I know, after the hectic days we face as modern women, its very easy to let sex fall to the wayside. BUT I am happy to offer you 5 surefire ways to find the spark and reclaim your carnal right.
Before we talk about how, lets discuss why.
Why is it important to maintain a healthy sex life with your partner?
Emotional Connection – When you’re busy tending to the needs of your little ones/home/job it can be surprisingly easy to lose that feeling of strong connect with your partner. A healthy sexual relationship is sure to give you back the butterflies you fell in love with.
Stress Relief – in a time where stress is likely at it’s highest (who ever said raising kids isn’t stressful is lying), sex can be a great form of release. Like when we exercise, eat chocolate, or play with puppies, our body releases those lovely feel-good hormones aka Endorphins. What better outlet for you and your partner to shake off that tension?!
Physical Health – from cancer prevention to burning calories and curing headaches, sex is a great way for you and your partner to to get physically active and aid in your overall well-being. Something that may become increasingly difficult post baby. No judgements, you’re busy! I get it! So you may as well fit a little workout in where you can.
Image: Kevin Doyley via Flickr
Now, lets look at how to keep your sex life alive with these 5 tips:
1. Put in the effort
I know, just the thought of sex at the end of the day can seem exhausting but you need to start making a point to be intimate with your partner even if you don’t really feel like it. Once you get going you’ll be glad you did. We aren’t talking about swinging from the chandeliers every single day kind of sex, but at least a few times a week. Take a bath, light some candles, put on some music – whatever you need to get into the mood. The sooner you get back into the groove, the better (and easier) it will be to keep it up
2. Make a date of it (and stick to it)
Sure the idea of “scheduling” sex can make it seem like more of a chore than a good time but if you and your partner don’t predetermine some “Mommy-Daddy time” during the week, you’ll likely never have any! Maybe its a lunchtime quickie while the kids are at school or in the morning before they wake up. Either way, dedicate some time to just you and your partner.
3. Explore, explore, explore
Chances are if you guys just had a child together, you and your partner are pretty comfortable with each other. What better time to start communicating about new things you want to try in bed? Be open and honest with each other and see what sounds good to the both of you. Not only will it enhance your emotional intimacy, but it will get you excited for your next “Sex Date”. You never know, you may just discover something you’re both really into that you wouldn’t have known when you were still in the early stages of your relationship
4. Realize that sex doesn’t just = penetration
There are many different ways to “do-it” so, do it! As long as there is some kind of intimate physical naughtiness going on, you are bonding with your partner, which is the goal here. It may not always lead up to his P in your V (thanks Forgetting Sarah Marshal) but it is an excellent start and foundation for the dynamic of a healthy sex life.
5. Love your body
Ladies, listen up. Men, take note. Having a baby is a miraculous, life changing milestone in a womans life. It’s a beautiful, prodigious, and somewhat outlandish experience. The downside? All the changes your body goes through, can leave you feeling less Playboy Bunny and more roadkill.
You created life! Every mark or extra pound on your body served that purpose. You are as beautiful as you were the days pre-baby, and there’s no need to feel insecure or self-conscience. After reading many forums on this topic, I discovered the most common post-baby sex barrier was; women simply not feeling sexy anymore.
Want to know what the men thought? Read this article from Betty Confidential Magazine and flip to page 2 for real answers from men.
Buy some lingerie, shave your legs, do your hair, hell even just brush your teeth if that’s all you have the time or energy for, because bottom line is – you are still gorgeous. I think the term being thrown around nowadays is Yummy Mummy?