Gay/Straight Marriages-Living a Lie

4 years ago
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It is estimated that millions of marriages end in divorce when one spouse comes out and admits their true sexual orientation.  Millions!

I am fascinated by this scenario and always wonder what were the signs?  Did she or he have a clue?  When your spouse admits they’re gay after decades of marriage, it must be absolutely devastating for the straight spouse.   Doesn’t this mean our whole marriage was a lie?  If I could live this lie then what are the other lies or things they hid from me?

I can’t even begin to imagine the betrayal a person would feel.  It would seem the only answer is divorce in this situation.  Surprisingly though, some choose to stay together and have an open relationship.  All I can say is it must be terrific love in these relationships to withstand the river of rejection.

I recently read “Love is Love” by Sarah Liss in Flare magazine.  Liss addresses the ambiguity and ‘fluidity’ of sexual orientation and how it is more accepted today.  Love is Love whichever way you choose to express it.  But as we all know, it hasn’t always been that way.

So, what are the reasons gay or homosexual individuals choose heterosexual marriage to begin with?  Obviously, the societal expectations and restrictions including one’s religion all contribute to the sham marriage.  They felt they had no other choice.  It was easier to give in and get married like everyone else.  Maybe they were trying to PLEASE their parents, pastor, boss, culture or ________ fill in the blank.

Unfortunately, what the gay spouse is attempting to hide, the straight spouse is unwittingly mistaking for love.  What is shame for one, is love for the other.  It sounds like a recipe for disaster.  It’s certainly a RECIPE FOR LONELINESS.

3 SYMPTOMS in a Gay/Straight Marriage;


2. Rejection

3. Lack of intimacy

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