We had four wonderful days alone together. My ex husband and I met at a beautiful lake in Arkansas and just were there. We left our families, our jobs, our separate homes, our old hard feelings at home and just had an amazing weekend. There were revelations both observed and spoken. I saw the changes in his capabilities. He is easily winded much quicker than before with less exertion. However, I saw how ingenious he is about finding a way to make it work. He used pulleys to move things he no longer could on his own. He asked me to get things for him. We worked as a team. Of course he got frustrated when he discovered a new thing he couldn't do as easily but the dealt with it. He didn't lose his temper or degrade himself. We fished and ran around town getting things to fish with or had forgotten. We laughed, we joked and we had some tender moments. Unfortunately we blew up his boat motor when we ran into an underwater stump. While I don't think God purposely caused the boat motor to blow but during the two hours we used the trolling motor to get back to our campsite we used the time to talk about what we might want to see as our future together. We threw out there every possible way we could reorient our lives to fit together again. We didn't come to any exact conclusions but I think we both believe there is no option off the table. In September he will be 1 year in his recovery program. I think we both agree as well as the program supports the idea of no big changes or decisions until you have been "off the bet" for 1 year. We prayed together about making the right choices for us and our families. We had a really nice time. We drove around the state park and stood in awe of the beauty God has created. It was hard to leave on Monday. I still wonder how this is going to come about but I remind myself that God is in control and His will will be accomplished. For today, I am grateful and happy with what He has given me. I am glad I can once again hear the man who captured my heart 10 years ago tell me he loves me and that his actions show that to be true.
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