Five Things a Facebook Romeo Won't Tell You

5 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am disturbed.


Yesterday one of the interracial Facebook pages issued a warning to its fans. They sounded the alarm about a Facebook Romeo who evidently had been making the rounds of IRR and Swirl pages and cozying up to Black women. His motive?

To ask them for money.

Seems this Facebook Romeo had hit up several of the women on the page. The women contacted the Admin, who in turn posted a warning - complete with a photo.

People, I just blew a gasket.

A guy chats you up on Facebook, and somehow feels comfortable enough to ask you for money???


Swirlers, we have a problem.

Oh, I hear your gasps and cluck-clucks of judgment. Who does that? you ask. You wonder, How does this happen? as you clutch your pearls in dismay.

Whelp, I'm glad you asked, because I'm more than happy to let you in on Mr. Facebook Romeo's secrets.

5 Things a Facebook Romeo Won't Tell You:

  1.  Your provocative profile picture was his first clue. You know - the one that has half (or all) of your boobs hanging out, or shows the rear view of you in your Daisy Dukes. And you know what? Don't give me that baloney about "I should be able to post any photo I want." Yeah. We get that - and we also get why you do that. It's because you're thirsty - and that's exactly the type of woman Mr. Romeo is looking for.
  2. He's tuning in to your sexually suggestive posts and/or comments. What posts? Oh, the ones where you ask what a man's favorite body part is, or how he feels about [insert sexual topic here]. He's also checking out the comments you make in the other thirsty posts - the ones where you talk about what you do and/or what you like when [insert sexual topic here].
  3. He has completely picked up on all your "compliments" about his looks, physique, blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes, blond hair, black hair, brown hair, straight teeth, pretty smile, muscles, cleft chin . . . . He doesn't have to worry about giving you any compliments, because you've made a point of letting him know what you think of him.
  4. He notices how you constantly whine about how you wish you had someone to cook for, bake for, give a massage to, blah, blah, blah. The purpose of these posts? To put him (and everyone else) on notice, and inform them that you are unattached and lonely - and easy pickings.
  5. Last but not least, Romeo has made notes about all the assertions you make about what a loyal, protective, supportive, and "ride or die" woman you are. Your "pick me! pick me!" message came through loud and clear, and all that's left now is for Romeo to send you an in-box, chat you up, tell you how wonderful you are, and move in for the kill. ask you for money. the two of you will live happily ever after.

A wise old man once said, "It's one thing to get hit by a bat, but giving someone a bat to hit you with is an entirely different matter."

Ladies, whether online or in person, thirstiness and desperation will read through loud and clear. Facebook Romeos troll interracial pages and groups, looking for the five things I just listed. Women who engage in those behaviors make it easy for Romeos to engage in predatory activity with little to no effort.

Don't give a Facebook Romeo a bat to hit you over the head with.

Think I'm being an alarmist? Check out these clips from recent episodes of the Dr. Phil Show on the subject of "Catfish" and "Online Love Scammers."

How do you protect yourself from a Facebook Romeo? The same way you keep bugs and pesky insects away. In other words, you use repellent.

What Repels a Facebook Romeo:

  • A healthy self-esteem
  • Class
  • Dignity
  • Self respect
  • Standards and values
  • Vetting, vetting, and more vetting

The average Facebook Romeo isn't too interested in a woman who exudes confidence and knows her self-worth. Even so, don't believe for a second that possessing these qualities will make you exempt. Often times these attributes will just place you in an arena to be approached by a "better quality" Romeo, one who will be a lot less obvious about what he's after. The best way to protect yourself - and we can't say it enough - is to Vet, vet, and vet again.

This bears repeating:

The best way to protect yourself - and we can't say it enough - is to Vet, vet, and vet again. The best way to protect yourself - and we can't say it enough - is to Vet, vet, and vet again. The best way to protect yourself - and we can't say it enough - is to Vet, vet, and vet again. The best way to protect yourself - and we can't say it enough - is to Vet, vet, and vet again. The best way to protect yourself - and we can't say it enough - is to Vet, vet, and vet again.

I'm just saying.

(This is also a good time to re-read our post entitled Date Smarter, Not Harder).

Join in the Fray: What does your online persona say about you? Are you a prime target for a Facebook Romeo?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.


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