My confession tonight is this: I watch some Korean dramas and Japanese dramas from time to time. Handsome men who patiently and consistently court and pursue women who may or may not be interested in them make my heart swoon. I sometimes day dream about someone I have admired and with whom I have been friends for some time. We had so much in common and got along so well. I can't help but imagine 'what if things had been different' or 'what if I had made different choices.'
Don't panic yet! Don't alert emergency arbeiters of reality to slap the silliness out of me and shake brutal reality into me.
I am still a relatively new divorcee. I am not eager to invite another man into the inner sanctum of my heart, when the last one promised before God, multitudes of people, and me, to love me for better and for worse, but has decided to make my misery his life goal since I filed for divorce. Is there a real man out there who represents genuine care, love, and responsibility; not just another grown-up 'child' I will have to take care of? Is there a gentleman who will truly love my children as much as I love my children?
The skeptical and wounded part of me says 'no.'
I will put the well-being and well-doing of my children above and beyond my dreams.
So, will you let me dream a little dream?
I like to dream a little dream about old-fashioned notions of love, romance, and courtship. One in which I am pursued with much patience, diligence, consistency, and time. A love that persists, that doesn't fail, that grows deeper with challenging circumstances.
Alas, I must return to reality and face my very hectic life head on. I bid thee 'good night.'
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